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WITandWISDOM(tm) - October 21, 2005 ISSN 1538-8794 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: Every time you are with your dog, one of you is training the other. Submitted by Lorraine ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: Say What You mean... Christian workers have an unusual opportunity to listen to people. In the course of their many conversations, many promises are given, statements made, and excuses offered. Perhaps it is easy to see, then, that some people do not "say what they mean": "THEY SAY" usually means, "I heard it from at least one source, but everybody must believe it." "IT NEEDS TO BE DONE" means, "I'm not going to do anything about it, but the church ought to." "I'VE HEARD SOME CRITICISM" Usually means, I'm against it but I don't have the nerve to state my belief." "THE WHOLE CHURCH IS UPSET Usually means. "two or three loud mouths have turned lose their venom." "IT MIGHT BRING CRITICISM" means, I know it should be done but it take too much effort for me to do it." "IF MY MEMORY SERVES ME RIGHT" really means, "I'm going to say something I'm not sure of, whether true or false, but if somebody discovers I'm wrong, then I can always blame my memory." "PREACHER, I WILL BE THERE IF I'M NOT PROVIDENTIALLY HINDERED" nearly always means, If I am not there, you can blame God for it." "I'LL COME EVERY TIME I CAN" Usually means, "If I do not have something better to do I'll be there." "I WON'T PROMISE, BUT I'LL DO MY BEST" means, "Don't expect much out of me." "I'M STILL STUDYING THE QUESTION" usually means, "I want to stay in a position to agree with both sides." You can take it from there! Christians should be far more careful to mean what they say and say what they mean than people of the world. (Matthew 5:36, 37). By Cleon Lyles Submitted by Charles Kitner Source: Monday Fodder mailto:dgaufaaa@iohk.com?subject=Subscribe_Monday_Fodder http://www.fishermansnet.com/monday-fodder/ ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: So you thought police officers didn't have a sense of humor....The following were taken off of police car videos around the country. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile." "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired." "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?" "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh. Did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?" "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket." "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?" "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven." "Just how big were those two beers?" "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want." "I'm glad to hear that Sheriff Tom Ariss is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail." "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? ...... You're right, we don't... sign here." Source: Monday Fodder mailto:dgaufaaa@iohk.com?subject=Subscribe_Monday_Fodder http://www.fishermansnet.com/monday-fodder/ ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: "There's an old saying - There's No Place Like Home. Well, I went in the house next door, and it was very, very similar." --Geoffrey Parfitt Submitted by Bruce ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.