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WITandWISDOM(tm) - February 1, 2006 ISSN 1538-8794 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor. -Truman Capote Source: The Funnies, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/andychaps_the-funnies ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: A young soldier fighting in Italy during World War II managed to jump into a foxhole just ahead of a spray of bullets. He immediately attempted to deepen it for more protection. As he was frantically scraping the dirt with his hands, he unearthed a silver crucifix, obviously left by a previous occupant of the foxhole. A moment later, a leaping figure landed beside him as more shells screamed overhead. The first soldier turned to see that his new friend was an army chaplain. Holding up the crucifix, the soldier cried, “Am I glad to see you! How do you work this thing?” On a more serious note, Captain Eddie Rickenbacker wrote about his World War II experience. While flying on a special mission to the Pacific Islands, his plane crashed. He and his crew were lost at sea for twenty-one days before being rescued. He said, “In the beginning many of the men were atheists or agnostics, but at the end of the terrible ordeal each, in his own way, had discovered God. Each man found salvation and strength in prayer, and a community of feeling developed which created a liveliness of human fellowship and worship, and a sense of gentle peace.” From: God’s Little Devotional Book, p. 71, http://isbn.nu/1562920960 Source: Chapnotes, mailto:ChapnotesMail@aol.com?Subject=Subscribe ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: Question: When is a retiree's bedtime? Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch. Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but it might take all day. Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees? Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done. Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors? Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount. Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire? Answer: Tied shoes. Question: Why do retirees count pennies? Answers: They are the only ones who have the time. Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire? Answer: NUTS! Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage? Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there. Question: What do retirees call a long lunch? Answer: Normal. Question: What is the best way to describe retirement? Answers: The never ending Coffee Break. Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree? Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents. Source: The Funnies, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/andychaps_the-funnies ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: A prospective juror was being questioned by the District Attorney for a murder trial that had been in all the papers. "If the defendant were to be convicted tomorrow, could you kill him for his crime?" "Well, no." replied the man. "But I could do it on Saturday if that would be OK." Source: The Funnies, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/andychaps_the-funnies ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: Surfin' The Web - 100 Things It's possible for a human to blow up balloons via the ear. A 55-year-old factory worker from China reportedly discovered 20 years ago that air leaked from his ears, and he can now inflate balloons and blow out candles. That's number 14 on a list of 100 things we know now that we didn't know last year. The list comes from the BBC so it's slanted toward UK news, but it's still a quick, interesting read. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4566526.stm Source: Internet Tutor, http://www.gophercentral.com/sub/sub-tutor.html