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WITandWISDOM(tm) - March 22, 2006 ISSN 1538-8794 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: A British publication once offered a prize for the best definition of a friend. Among the thousands of answers received were the following: "One who multiplies joys, divides grief, and whose honesty is inviolable." "One who understands our silence." "A volume of sympathy bound in cloth." "A watch that beats true for all time and never runs down." The winning definition read: "A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out." Source: Illustrations, http://www.cybersaltlists.org ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: Ten differences between the Doctor and the Pastor - By Pastor Flosser The Doctor says, "Please disrobe" and you do it without question. The Pastor preaches that you should dress modestly and he is getting too personal. The Doctor charges outrageous fees and you complain but you come back the next time you are sick. The Pastor preaches that you should pay your tithes and you leave the church. The Doctor checks how much you weigh and you allow him. The Pastor asks how much you pray and it's none of his business. The Doctor gives you a nasty tasting pill and you take it. The Pastor feeds you the Word and you say no thank you. The Doctor's office closes at a certain time. The Pastor is to be available, awake and ready twenty-four hours a day. The Doctor tells you how to change your lifestyle to lower your blood pressure. The Pastor tells you how to change your lifestyle and it raises your blood pressure. The Doctor tells you we need to run more tests, so you make an appointment. The Pastor says we need more Prayer Meetings and Bible Studies and you are too busy. The Doctor says, "There is nothing more we can do", and you search high and low for one who can help. The Pastor says, "God can help you", and you give up and say "What's the use." The Doctor says, "Try this and see if it works and if it doesn't we'll try something else", so you do. The Pastor gives you the promises of God's Word and you don't like to "Walk by faith." To the Doctor, you are one of many sick bodies. To the Pastor, you are a part of the family. He loves you. He prays for you. He helps carry your burdens. He laughs with you and cries with you. You are important to your Pastor.....how important is your Pastor to you? This is NOT a slam on doctors, it's just used this way to make you realize just how dear and wonderful our Pastors are! Source: Tidbits Daily Devotional, mailto:the-tidbits-devotional-subscribe@strategicnetwork.org ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: As anyone that has ever had to do a bulletin you know if it fits in the space you take it as divine wisdom and that's where you put the item. In our congregation we had an unwed mother, who had asked for forgiveness. As a source of encouragement and because of her great need a baby shower was planned for her, which was well attended. The following week she gave me a thank you note to be placed in the bulletin. At the same time a local university was sponsoring a seminar for teens and had sent out a flyer to be posted so I was running an item directing the teens to the bulletin board for more information. The subject was "Sex Can Wait." You guessed it both items fit just where I needed them to be side by side. It wasn't till I was proof reading the bulletin that I realized that just wasn't going to work! But both heaven and I had a good laugh at my almost bulletin blooper. – by the church mouse Submitted by The Church Mouse ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: "I get up each morning, dust off my wits; Pick up my paper, and read the "Obits." If my name is missing, I know I'm not dead. So I eat a good breakfast, and go back to bed." Submitted by Kiri ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: My friend had been promoted and transferred to another branch of the Commerce bank where she worked. Hoping her new staff would appreciate it, Sandy decided to organize a party and arranged a meeting after the branch closed. She explained her plans and asked those who would come alone to raise one hand and those who would be accompanied to raise two. The police arrived within minutes. A pedestrian walking by had seen the bank staff with their hands above their heads. Thinking a robbery was in progress, he had raced to a phone booth and dialed 9-1-1. Submitted by Lorraine