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WITandWISDOM(tm) - April 24, 2006 ISSN 1538-8794 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved - loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves. - Victor Hugo Source: Carol's Thought for Today, http://users.adelphia.net/~mrs.carol ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: Fred Craddock tells a story about a young minister, newly graduated from seminary, serving his very first church. He gets a call telling him that a church member, elderly woman who has just given her life to the church, is in the hospital. She’s so weak she can’t even get up out of bed, and the doctors don’t hold much hope for her recovery. Would he go up and visit? Well, of course he will and he does. All the way to the hospital he’s thinking about what he will say to this Christian lady, what words of comfort he can give her to prepare her for her eminent death. He arrives at the hospital, goes up to her room for the visit. He sits and talks with her a few minutes, just small talk really, nothing earth shattering. When he makes ready to leave, he asks if she would like him to have prayer with her. She answers, "Yes, of course. That’s why I wanted you to come." He then asks politely, "And what exactly would you like me to pray for?" "Why, I want you to pray that God will heal me," she answers in a surprised tone of voice. Haltingly, fumbling over the words, he prays just as she wanted, that God will heal her, even though he’s not really sure that can happen. When he says the "Amen" at the end of the prayer, the woman says, "You know, I think it worked! I think I’m healed!" And she gets out of the bed and begins to run up and down the hallway of the hospital, shouting, "Praise God! I’m healed! Praise God! I’m healed!" Meanwhile, the young minister, in a stupor, stumbles to the stairwell, walks down five flights of stairs, makes his way to the parking lot and somehow manages to find his car. As he fumbles to get his keys out of his pocket, he looks heavenward and says, "Don’t you ever do that to me again!" He had a mountaintop moment, but he didn’t know what to do with it! Johnny Dean, Sermon on Matthew 17:1-9: Reality Check. Source: Illustrations, http://www.cybersaltlists.org ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: DAFFYNITIONS & VERBAL ABUSE Infantry: A sapling Inversion: The story that is told by the most popular group Modernize: To do away with, as in modernizing Social Security, labor laws, etc. Happenstance: It HAPPENSTANCE are very fashionable but bad for the skin. Inning: To stay every night in a motel while traveling Advil: An experimental community where residents pay no property taxes, but every square inch of sidewalk and wall space is filled with billboards and other commercial come-ons. Abacus: I don't like ABACUS their music is too repetitive. Orchid: I categorically wouldn't josh, tease, ORCHID you about it. Arbitrator: A person who works for a hamburger chain and sells its secrets to MacDonalds. Vitamin: What you do when you see a doctor standing outside your door. Staying The Course: The act of being stubborn and unable to admit glaring policy mistakes; being wrong and sticking with the wrong idea regardless of the consequences. Omelettes: "That dude cussed me out but OMELETTE it go instead of fighting about it!" Effort: John got an EFFORT the semester. Submitted by Angelwings ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: I was accompanying my seven-year-old daughter who was selling cookies door-to-door for the Girl Scouts. After visiting several homes, she commented on the different styles of doorbells: some buzzed, some rang, some warbled. We made a game of guessing what the next bell would sound like. At the precise moment she touched the doorbell at one house, the church tower began to chime. She wheeled around with a look of amazement on her face. "Now that's a doorbell!" Submitted by Lorraine ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: MUNICH (Reuters) - A supermarket worker's discovery of 20 kilograms (44 lb) of cocaine hidden in a case of fruit had German police going bananas. A spokesman for Bavarian state police said around 30 police officers dug through 4,600 cartons of bananas after a man working at a Munich grocery store found the drugs in a shipment of fruit from Colombia. "A worker unloading a case saw that there weren't any bananas under the first layer," a spokesman for Bavarian state police said Monday. In their place, he said was 20 kilograms of drugs. The bananas originally came from Colombia and were shipped through the Belgian port of Antwerp before being trucked into Germany. The investigation is under way. © Reuters 2006. All Rights Reserved Source: Reuters, http://reuters.com