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WITandWISDOM(tm) - May 17, 2006 ISSN 1538-8794 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: "Don't simply retire from something; have something to retire to." - Harry Emerson Fosdick Submitted by Lorraine ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: Out of the blue one day, for no reason at all while 7 year-old Mark was sitting at his desk in the classroom, he felt something warm and looked down to see the front of his pants wet, and a puddle at his feet on the floor. Mark could never remember ever wetting his pants before. He could not believe it was happening to him. Immediately he realized all the ramifications that this would bring to his young life. He could already hear the taunting of the other boys on the play ground, and surely no girl would ever speak to him again. He immediately buried his head in his hands and prayed, "God I need help NOW. Three minutest from now will be too late.” He heard someone approaching him and looked up to see Susie coming in his direction with a big gold fish bowl in her hands. It was Susie's day to clean the fish bowl. "OH! No not Susie. He had had a crush on her since Kindergarten. She would see and he would never be able to speak to her again." But then it happened! Just as she got to his desk Susie dumped the entire bowl of water, fish and all into Marks lap. The teacher jumped to Mark's rescue. Scurried him away to the boiler room, gave him a pair of Gym shorts to wear, hung his trousers on the boiler to dry, and put her arm around him lavishing him with sympathy and understanding. When they returned to the class room all the children were busy with paper towels drying up the floor, Mark's books and scolding little Susie for her clumsiness. When Susie tried to help, the teacher said, "Susie, I think you have done enough for one day." The acceptance and sympathy felt so good to Mark, that he failed to realize how rejected little Susie felt by the condemnation of his classmates. The more sympathy Mark received, the more rejection and condemnation Susie experienced. This lasted the rest of the day, until they were all out front waiting for rides home. It was then he saw the pain in Susie's eyes as she stood all alone, while students from other classes heard about the incident for the first time and crowded around Mark lavishing more understanding. Mark went over to Susie, and whispered, "Susie, you saw, you knew didn't you. You dumped that water on me on purpose didn't you." Susie replied, "Mark, I wet my pants once too." This story was told by Bob Tuttle, Prof. at Asbury campus in Florida. Submitted by Ernest Jones ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty. Father Flaherty said, "Top o' the mornin' to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer husband 2 years ago? She replied, "Aye, that ye did Father!" Father asked, "And be there any wee ones yet?" She replied, "No not yet Father." The Father said, "Well now, I'm going to Rome next week and I'll light a candle for ye and yer husband." She replied, "Oh Thank Ye, Father." They then parted ways. Some years later they met again. . . The Father asked, "Well now, Mrs Donovan, How are ye these days?" She replied, "Oh, very well Father!" The Father asked, "And tell me, have ye any wee ones yet?" She replied, "Oh yes Father!" "Three sets of twins and 4 singles, 10 in all!" The Father said, "That's wonderful! How is yer loving husband doing?" She replied, "E's gone to Rome to blow, out yer candle!" Source: Monday Fodder mailto:daveaufrance@gmail.com?Subject=Subscribe_Monday_Fodder http://www.fishermansnet.com/monday-fodder/ ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: The ten-year-old wanted to decorate his room so he wrote to the state university and asked for "stickers and pennance." He received this letter, "We are mailing you the stickers but would suggest that for pennance you spend an hour a day with Webster's dictionary." Submitted by Betsy ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: Q: How fast was New York City cabbie Jacob German driving when he became the first motorist arrested in the U.S. for speeding? A: Twelve miles an hour. The year was 1899, and the arresting officer was on a bicycle. Submitted by Cutie Pa2ti