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WITandWISDOM(tm) - June 6, 2006 ISSN 1538-8794 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps. - Proverbs 16:9 (New Living Translation) Source: Daily Scripture, mailto:scripture-subscribe@lists.tagnet.org ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: A story is told about a shattered German village at the end of World War Two. Instead of asking the American occupation forces quartered there to provide food, farm equipment, or money, the townspeople requested help in restoring a statue. For many years the lovely piece of artwork, their most prized possession, had stood in the town square. The last battle had raged through their little town and left the statue in broken pieces. Restoration proved to be meticulously painstaking and difficult. Finally, the figure was put together-except for two missing parts. The soldiers had been unable to find or replace them. Nonetheless, the town officials covered the incomplete statue with a silk drape and set the date for the unveiling. When the mayor of the town pulled the cord and the drape fell away from the statue, the people's mouth's dropped open. The figure of Christ had been beautifully restored-but He had no hands. At the feet of the figure, the soldiers had placed a plaque that read: "I have no hands. Won't you please lend Me yours?" Source: Monday Fodder mailto:daveaufrance@gmail.com?Subject=Subscribe_Monday_Fodder http://www.fishermansnet.com/monday-fodder/ ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: FOOD SPOILAGE TEST Finally, a way to know what to throw-out and what to save! EGGS: When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is probably past its prime. MAYONNAISE: If it makes you violently ill after you eat it, the mayonnaise is spoiled. FROZEN FOODS: Frozen foods that have become an integral part of the defrosting problem in your freezer compartment will probably be spoiled -- (or wrecked anyway) by the time you pry them out with a kitchen knife. EXPIRATION DATES: This is NOT a marketing ploy to encourage you to throw away perfectly good food so that you'll spend more on groceries. Perhaps you'd benefit by having a calendar in your kitchen. MEAT: If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from a three-block radius to congregate outside your house, the meat is spoiled. BREAD: Sesame seeds and Poppy seeds are the only officially acceptable "spots" that should be seen on the surface of any loaf of bread. Fuzzy and hairy looking white or green growth areas are a good indication your bread has turned into a pharmaceutical laboratory experiment. FLOUR: Flour is spoiled when it wiggles. SALT: It never spoils. LETTUCE: Iceberg lettuce is spoiled when you can't get it off the bottom of the vegetable crisper without Comet. Romaine lettuce is spoiled when it turns liquid. CANNED GOODS: Any canned goods that have become the size or shape of a softball should be disposed of. Carefully. Very, very carefully! RAISINS: Raisins should not be harder than your teeth. POTATOES: Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy undergrowth. CHIP DIP: If you can take it out of its container and bounce it on the floor, it has gone bad. EMPTY CONTAINERS: Putting empty containers back into the refrigerator is an old trick, but it only works if you live with someone or have a maid. UNMARKED ITEMS: You know it's well beyond prime when you're tempted to discard the Tupperware along with the food. Generally speaking, Tupperware containers should not burp when you open them. GENERAL RULE OF THUMB: Most food cannot be kept longer than the average life span of a goldfish. Keep a goldfish nearby your refrigerator to gauge this. Submitted by Nancy Thomas ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: "Shopping is a woman thing. It's a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase." - Erma Bombeck Submitted by Lorraine ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: We were conducting flight operations aboard the USS Independence off Jacksonville, Fla. The topside safety petty officer on the No. 3 catapult was accidentally blown over the side by the exhaust of a turning F-4 Phantom jet. All those who witnessed the incident thought for sure the man was lost, because the flight deck was 65 feet above the ocean. Fortunately, he was rescued by the ship's helicopter. Later that day, I visited him in sick bay. "Were you scared?" I asked. "Scared?" he said. "I yelled 'Man overboard!' three times before I hit the water!" Contributed to "Humor In Uniform" by John Carl Source: America In Uniform, http://www.beliefnet.com/user/newsletter_choose.asp