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WITandWISDOM(tm) - July 26, 2006 ISSN 1538-8794 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: It is a wise father that knows his own child. - William Shakespeare Source: Clean Hewmor, mailto:clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: It is said that when the British and French were fighting in Canada in the 1750s, Admiral Phipps, commander of the British fleet, was told to anchor outside Quebec. He was given orders to wait for the British land forces to arrive, then support them when they attacked the city. Phipps’ navy arrived early. As the admiral waited, he became annoyed by the statues of the saints that adorned the towers of a nearby cathedral, so he commanded his men to shoot at them with the ships’ cannons. No one knows how many rounds were fired or how many statues were knocked out, but when the land forces arrived and the signal was given to attack, the admiral was of no help. He had used up all his ammunition shooting at the “saints.” (Daily Bread) Unfortunately, the same could be said for many Christians today. When God calls on them to do something great for Him they have nothing left to give for they have used up their ammunition shooting at the saints. Throughout church history churches have split for the stupidest of reasons. Some have split over the issue of how many angels can dance on the head of a pin. Locally some have split over whether it is spelled Immanuel or Emmanuel. Some churches have split over whether to sit on pews or chairs. Surely there has to be something of more significance in the church today than what type of furniture we will park our “duffs” on. Surely there has to be for if there is not then the church is finished. From: How to Get Along When You Don’t See Eye to Eye by Steven Dow For more of this devotional on church harmony visit here: http://tinyurl.com/qfejn Source: SermonCentral Weekly Newsletter, http://www.sermoncentral.com/newsletter_subscribe.asp ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: Melody In 'F' (The Prodigal Son) Feeling footloose and frisky, a feather-brained fellow Forced his fond father to fork over the farthings, And flew far to foreign fields And fabulously frittered his fortune with faithless friends. Fleeced by his fellows in folly, and facing famine, He found himself a feed-flinger in a filthy farmyard. Fairly famishing, his fain would've filled his frame With forged food from fodder fragments. 'Fooey, my father's flunkies fare far finer,' The frazzled fugitive forlornly fumbled, frankly facing facts. Frustrated by failure, and filled with foreboding, He fled forthwith to his family. Falling at his father's feet, he fornlornly fumbled, 'Father, I've flunked. And fruitlessly, forfeited family fellowship favor.' The far-sighted father, forestalling further flinching, Frantically flagged the flunkies. 'Fetch a fatling from the flock and fix a feast.' The fugitive's fault-finding brother frowned On fickle forgiveness of former folderol. But the faithful father figured, 'Filial fidelity is fine, but the fugitive is found! What forbids fervent festivity? Let flags be unfurled! Let fanfares flare!' Father's forgiveness formed the foundation For the former fugitive's future fortitude! Source: Smile a Day Newsletter (c), http://www.net153.com/best.htm ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: The father of a teenage daughter was concerned with the amount of time she spent on the telephone; not so much for the time she wasted (he had given up on that long ago), but because nobody else could use the phone. So, as a happy solution, he had a telephone installed for her with her own private number and directory listing. Two or three days after her telephone had been installed, he came home to find her stretched out on the floor with her feet on the living room couch and chatting away on the family telephone. Her own telephone was resting silently on her dresser. "Why are you using our telephone," he asked. "Why aren't you talking on your own telephone?" "I can't," she said, "I'm expecting an important call on my phone." Source: Clean Laffs, http://www.cleanlaffs.com/ ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: Software For Shaky Hands Hi Fred, Probably not very interesting to most of your readers, but for those with shaky hands (aka a tremor) like me this can be very good news. I found this software application called Mousecage. Its intention is to help people with hand tremor control their computer mouse. As you will understand, using a computer mouse is often impossible for people with a hand tremor. At first, Mousecage needed some getting used to, but once I did that, it helped me enormously. For the first time in ages, I can now handle the mouse without frustration! I found Mousecage mentioned on a Dutch website, but the company that developed Mousecage is UK based (I think) and has an English website: http://www.mousecage.org - Martin ~~~~ Thanks, Martin. My hat's off to you and people like you. PCs can be hard enough to deal with just on their own; it takes an impressive amount of spirit and determination for people to overcome physical impediments as well. Mousecage is made by a London-based company called Tunic Software, which charges $29.95 for it and offers a free trial version. Source: LangaList, http://langa.com/join_langalist.htm