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WITandWISDOM(tm) - September 20, 2006 ISSN 1538-8794 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: Every man is wise when attacked by a mad dog; fewer when pursued by a mad woman; only the wisest survive when attacked by a mad notion. - Robertson Davies Source: Quotes of the Day, http://www.quotationspage.com/qotd.html ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: Ryan Johnson, a minister in Glen Elder, Kansas, shares this story: "I was heading north out of Salina, Kansas when I saw him. His name was Charlie. Charles was sitting in the ditch with large army bags. The cold misty rain was drenching him and his bags. He wore his Vietnam jacket proudly. It laid over his 400-pound body like a tarp. I pulled over and asked if I could help. He asked if I would load his bags (and man did he mean bags) on the car and drive them to the gas station that was a hundred yards away, he would appreciate it. I did. He limped along following the behind my car. For a few fruitless hours I tried to talk him into going to a rescue mission. I prayed with him and left. I continued to travel North on HW 81 to my home. That’s when Jesus started in. I said, "Jesus, I can’t take him home. He could kill me. And Jesus, he really stinks…Jesus there is no way I am letting him stay the night… Now Lord, I prayed with him. I helped him." I felt the words he said, echoed from Matthew 25, "When you welcome me in...Not if you prayed with me..." So, I made a u-turn on Highway 81. I pulled up next to Charlie at the gas station. I said, “Charlie get in!” Charlie said, “Getty up!” For the next hour and a half, I rode with this 400 lb. man in my small car. I had to crack the window to be able to breath through the stench. I heard the story of how a once veteran became a misfit. It was the common dilemma of needing medicine to get a job and a job to get the medicine. We got to my place. I laid a sheet on the couch. I washed his clothes and belongings. The next morning I took him to the police station as part of the ministerial alliance agreement to get him a free motel room and a hot meal. Later that day I received a call from the local hospital’s Social worker. She said that Charles has been admitted and wouldn’t speak to anyone but me. I walked into room 104 and said, “Charlie what do you want. I’ve done everything. He said, “I don’t want anything. I just wanted you to know that they told me my heart is bad and I am dying. They want to ship me to Wichita. But I can never hitch a ride out of Wichita, so I want to stay here to die. Last night was the first home I have stayed in, in over 20 years. Because of that I felt welcomed. And I know Jesus is asking me to get my real heart right. I just want you to know preacher. I want you to help me accept the Lord." When we welcome misfits, The Kingdom will expand. From: Ryan Johnson in "Welcome to The Misfit Kingdom" Source: SermonCentral Weekly Newsletter, http://www.sermoncentral.com/newsletter_subscribe.asp ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: A friend gave me a racquet worth two hundred dollars when he heard how much I like playing racquetball. (I think he had purchased it at 75 percent off.) I looked forward to trying this ultra light, powerful racquet. In fact, I thought to myself, "Now I'm going to win for a change, because I've got this expensive, high-tech racquet." Sure enough, the next time we played, I won all three games. Afterward, as I was putting my racquet away, I discovered that I had been playing with my old racquet. Evidently, I had pulled the old racquet out of my bag instead of the new one without noticing what I was doing. And since I thought I was playing with a two-hundred-dollar racquet, I played much better—though the entire time I really was using the same old, crooked thirty-nine-dollar racquet I'd had all along! By Doug Batchelor in Broken Chains (Pacific Press 2004) ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: Working at the post office, I'm used to dealing with a moody public. So when one irate customer stormed my desk, I responded in my calmest voice, "What's the trouble?" "I went out this morning," she began, "and when I came home I found a card saying the mailman tried to deliver a package but no one was home. I'll have you know, my husband was in all morning! He never heard a thing!" After apologizing, I got her parcel. "Oh good!" she gushed. "We've been waiting for this for ages!" "What is it?" I asked. "My husband's new hearing aid." Source: Clean Hewmor, mailto:clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: I was in my car one day listening to a guy on the radio help callers with their home problems. One woman called up hysterical after finding a skunk in her basement. "Leave a trail of breadcrumbs or cat food from your basement to your backyard," suggested the show's host. "That'll get rid of it." An hour later the woman called back, even more upset. "Now I have TWO skunks in my basement!" From: The Reader's Digest, Copyright ©, All rights reserved., http://www.readersdigest.com/ Source: Clean Laffs, http://www.cleanlaffs.com/