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WITandWISDOM(tm) - December 19, 2006 ISSN 1538-8794 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: Take chances based on all you have to gain, rather than what you might loose. – Unknown Submitted by Elaine ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: It was the night before Christmas, when all thru the abode only one creature was stirring, and she was cleaning the commode. The children were finally sleeping, all snug in their beds, while visions of games and dolls, flipped through their heads. The dad was snoring in front of the TV, with a half constructed bicycle on his knee. So only the mom heard the reindeer hooves clatter, which made her sigh, "Now what's the matter?" With toilet bowl brush still clutched in her hand, she descended the stairs, and saw the old man. He was covered with ashes and soot, which fell with a shrug. "Oh great," muttered the mom, "Now I have to clean the rug." "Ho ho ho!" cried Santa, "I'm glad you're awake." "Your gift was especially difficult to make." "Thanks, Santa, but all I want is some time alone." "Exactly!" he chuckled, "I've made you a clone." "A clone?" she asked, "What good is that? Run along, Santa, I've no time for chit chat." The mother's twin. Same hair, same eyes, same double chin. "She'll cook, she'll dust, " she'll mop every mess. You'll relax, take it easy, watch The Young & the Restless." "Fantastic!" the mom cheered. "My dream come true! "I'll shop. I'll read., I'll sleep a whole night through!" From the room above, the youngest began to fret. "Mommy?! I scared... and I 'm wet." The clone replied, "I'm coming, sweetheart." "Hey," the mom smiled, "She knows her part." The clone changed the small one, and hummed a tune, as she bundled the child, in a blanket cocoon. "You the best mommy ever. " I really love you." The clone smiled and sighed, "I love you, too." The mom frowned and said, "Sorry, Santa, no deal. " That's my child's love, she's trying to steal." Smiling wisely Santa said, "To me it is clear, " Only one loving mother, is needed here." The mom kissed her child, and tucked her into bed. "Thank you, Santa, " for clearing my head. I sometimes forget, it won't be very long, when they'll be too old, for my cradle song." The clock on the mantle began to chime. Santa whispered to the clone, "It works every time." With the clone by his side Santa said, "Goodnight. Merry Christmas, Mom, You'll be all right." Submitted by Miss Kitty ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: The Church Mouse by Bill Walker mailto:missourisage@yahoo.com I was setting there in church the other evening. Different ones was making prayer requests. I think that is nice to request things for those in need of a blessing. I was trying to think of something for some poor soul.. when I got a little tap on a foot. There wasn't any one near me at the time that could have done so, a tap on the foot that is. I looked down, and there was a poor little mouse. Well I am what might be called an animal lover, so I asked Mr. Mouse what was the reason for the tap? He said he was the poor mouse of the church, and his family was next to starving to death, as someone has seen fit to start putting all the goodies in sealed cans. It was bad enough trying to get in the child proof sealed packages, but these cans is something else. I asked if a hunk of cheese would be in order. He said. "OH yes that would be nice, just please don't put it in one of those so called traps,, those things can be nasty." Well I made a request for a hunk of cheese to be placed on the prayer lists for the poor church mouse, and family. I noticed I got a dirty look from some of the fine up standing Christian Ladies of the church. Preacher, I noticed never put it on the list. You know I have heart for the poor little guy, I am going to cart a brick of cheese to church Sunday.. No traps. I will cut it up in small chunks, and leave it in a few places. I think the ladies rest room would be a one place. Submitted by Barbara J. Weymouth ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: A socialist once came to see Andrew Carnegie and soon was railing against the injustice of Carnegie having so much money. In his view, wealth was meant to be divided equally. Carnegie asked his secretary for an assessment of everything he owned and at the same time looked up the figures on world population. He did a little arithmetic on a pad and then said to his secretary, ?Give this gentleman 16 cents. That?s his share of my wealth.? Bits & Pieces, October 13, 1994 ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: (Ananova: September 20, 2006) Scientists have brought back to life seeds which had been stored away since the time of George III. They had been brought to Britain from South Africa by a Dutch merchant in 1803, and were found in a notebook in the National Archives. Experts from the Millennium Seed Bank, part of the Royal Botanic Gardens at Kew, induced seeds from three species to germinate. The Kew team said they were surprised by their success. "They had been kept under pretty poor conditions," said Matt Daws, a seed ecologist with the Millennium Seed Bank. "They'd been in a ship for a year, certainly for months, coming back from the Cape, then they'd been kept in the Tower of London for a number of years; only in the last 10 years have they been in controlled conditions. "So I didn't expect any of them to germinate," he told the BBC News website, "and the three that did really are tough seeds." The three successes are a legume, Liparia villosa, and two species not yet identified, one a protea and the other an acacia. Four years ago, US scientists germinated lotus seeds which had been carbon-dated as 500 years old; and an Israeli team claims to have grown a date palm from a 2,000 year old seed. Source: Ananova http://www.ananova.com