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WITandWISDOM(tm) - February 28, 2007 ISSN 1538-8794 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: Perhaps the world little notes nor long remembers individual acts of kindness - but people do. - Herm Albright Source: Molly's Quotes of the Day, mailto:molly.rhea@gmail.com?subject=Subscribe_Quotes_of_the_Day ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: When I speak, I tell my audiences, "As you get out of bed each morning and stumble into the bathroom, jump-start each day with a positive attitude. Look in the mirror and say, 'Good Morning. I love you. We're going to have a great day!'" Jill implemented this plan at home when their Sunday scramble to church had become a war. It was a fight to get her family out of bed and dressed. Yet, despite all her raving and ranting, they always arrived late, surrounded by an angry cloud of silence. One Sunday, she tried her new affirmation. She stood over her husband's side of the bed and whispered in his ear, "Good Morning. I love you! We're going to have a great day!" Dan opened one eye and said, "What? Are you crazy?" She just smiled and went across the hallway to their five-year-old son's bedroom. She opened the door and repeated the greeting. Jeff rolled over and said, "You're wrong, Mom. We're going to have a bad day!" She smiled again and went across the hallway to check on Dan. She couldn't believe it. He was already up, dressing! She trotted back to Jeff's room. To her surprise he too was out of bed, putting on his clothes! That Sunday was the first in a month of Sundays they arrived at church on time and still liking one another. So Jill turned this greeting into a morning ritual. She had been especially worried about her five-year-old’s negative attitude. Each morning, she woke Jeff with her new greeting, and each morning, he gave her some sort of a cynical retort. Her worries ended when one morning, she opened his bedroom door and before she could speak, Jeff looked up at her with his big brown eyes and said, "Good Morning. I love you, Mom. We're going to have a great day!" By Margie Seyfer Source: Gracemail, mailto:gracemail-subscribe@MyInJesus.com ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: Pun-tificating I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. To write with a broken pencil is pointless. When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months. A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal. We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A. The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it. The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground. The dead batteries were given out free of charge. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired. The optometrist fell into his lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself. [That's a story that lens itself.] Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. A backward poet writes inverse. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key. A boiled egg is hard to beat. He had a photographic memory which was never developed. A plateau is a high form of flattery. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses. Acupuncture: a jab well done Submitted by Orvie Jensen ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: "Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded." --Tim Allen Source: Clean Laffs, http://www.cleanlaffs.com/ ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: Compare your yearly income to the rest of the world. [Anything over $200,000 gets the same result] http://www.globalrichlist.com/index.php Source: The Pocket Newsletter, Copyright ©1996-2005, All Rights Reserved, http://thepocket.com