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WITandWISDOM(tm) - April 30, 2007
"Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before." - Kurt Vonnegut (1922 2007)
Source: Mark Mail, http://mrhumor.net/
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
Gals How to choose your guy.
Find a guy, who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
Who calls you back when you hang up on him.
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead.
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends.
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."
Submitted by Angelwings
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
I put a roast in the oven one noon hour and set the timer, a feature I hadn't used yet. Before leaving work that afternoon, I phoned my 14-year-old son to ask him to check the roast and peel some potatoes. Minutes later he called back. "Mom, the roast isn't cooked. The oven didn't come on."
The roast was on the menu again the following day, but this time, since I stopped by the house after a business lunch, I decided to turn the oven on myself. Again before leaving work, I called my son to check the roast and get the potatoes started. Again he called me back. "The roast still isn't cooked."
"Listen," I said. "I know the oven's on. I turned it on before I left. I didn't use the timer."
"Oh, the stove's working fine," he told me. "It's just that the roast is in the fridge."
Submitted by Lorraine
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
Two mothers are having a conversation about their children one day. "How do you get your Marvin up so early on school mornings?" asks Joan.
"Oh, that's easy," replies Marianne. "I just throw the cat on his bed."
"Why does that wake him up?"
"He sleeps with the dog!"
Submitted by B. B.
Years ago Harry Emerson Fosdick told about a church in Denmark where the worshipers bowed regularly before a certain spot on the wall. They had been doing that for three centuries--bowing at that one spot in the sanctuary. Nobody could remember why. One day in renovating the church, they removed some of the whitewash on the walls. At the exact spot where the people bowed they found the image of the Madonna under the whitewash. People had become so accustomed to bowing before that image that even after it was covered up for three centuries, people still bowed.
Tradition is a powerful thing. The Pharisees had learned to substitute tradition, custom, habit for the presence of the living God.
King Duncan, Collected Sermons, Cited on http://www.preaching.com
Source: Weekend Encounter, by Dick Innes, Copyright (c) ACTS International, 2004, http://www.actsweb.org/subscribe.php