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WITandWISDOM(tm) - July 2, 2007 ISSN 1538-8794 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare. - Mark Twain Source: Laughter for a Saturday mailto:ed548@yahoo.com?subject=Subscribe_to_Laughter_for_a_Saturday ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: Many years ago, I watched a church in Atlanta honoring one of its senior pastors who had been retired many years. He was 92 at that time and I wondered why the Church even bothered to ask the old gentleman to preach at that age. After a warm welcome and introduction of this speaker, as the applause quieted down he rose from his high back chair and walked slowly, with great effort and a sliding gate to the podium. Without a note or written paper of any kind, he placed both hands on the pulpit to steady himself and then quietly and slowly he began to speak. "When I was asked to come here today and talk to you, your pastor asked me to tell you what was the greatest lesson ever learned in my 50 odd years preaching. I thought about it for a few days and boiled it down to just one thing that made the most difference in my life and sustained me through all my trials. The one thing that I could always rely on when tears and heart break and pain and fear and sorrow paralyzed me. The only thing that would comfort was this verse... "Jesus loves me this I know. For the Bible tells me so. Little ones to him belong, We are weak but he is strong. Yes, Jesus loves me, The Bible tells me so." When he finished, the church was quiet. You actually could hear his footsteps as he shuffled back to his chair. I don't believe I will ever forget it. Source: Chapnotes, mailto:xanmansa@chapnotes.org?Subject=Subscribe ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: Random Acts Of Thinking Part the First – 1 of 3 [July 2, 10, 18] The problem with sneezing these days is that my bladder thinks it needs to be involved. Whenever I do a jigsaw puzzle, I'm always missing a piece ... the piece where the whole thing is fun, for instance. I wanted to have my stomach stapled, but it cost too much ... so I had it paper-clipped. I'm a paranoid dyslexic. I always think I'm out to get somebody. I asked what the difference was between a mime and a pantomime. No one would say. There's a new two-step program for people addicted to line dancing. If I had a nickel for every hour I sat in front of the TV ... I could get one of those really good high-definition plasma sets. My doctor says I'm digging my own grave with a knife and fork. Does that count as exercise? Next year we're going to spend our vacation somewhere near our budget. I nearly made a fortune. I invented the steel-belted radio. Missed it by that much. Is a mushroom a good place to keep your mush? I bought a device that slices right through the packaging on CDs, but I can't get it out of the box. I thought I lost my mustache. Turns out it was right under my nose the whole time. When I was in grade school, my teachers told me I was just taking up space. And that's how I became an astronaut. [waylaid, sidetracked, distracted, and borrowed from Top Greetings, A Prairie Home Companion, Shoe, Randy Glasbergen, Colorado Comments, Jim Loy, Hallmark's Maxine and the mind of Mark Raymond] Source: Mark Mail, http://mrhumor.net/ ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: Bob Costas, during the parade of nations in the 2000 Summer Games in Sydney, Australia: "Next up is the Central African Republic located in central Africa." Source: Sunday Funnies, http://www.net153.com/best.htm ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: May 31, 2007 - Shelby, North Carolina A radio listener helped save a disc jockey who suffered an on-air heart seizure and pleaded for help before passing out in his studio. WOHS DJ Tim Biggerstaff, who has suffered from diabetes since childhood, has always been candid about his health. When he felt a seizure about to strike Monday, he called out to his listeners. Gerald Weathers heard the plea and called 911 for help. Since Biggerstaff was the only person working on the holiday, officials contacted another WOHS radio employee to unlock the door. Biggerstaff was found unconscious inside. "It's quite frankly a gracious miracle that I am here at all," said Biggerstaff, age 46. This isn't the first time a listener has saved the DJ's life. Three years ago, a listener donated a kidney to him when he needed a transplant. For more on the story visit: http://www.charlotte.com/gaston/story/150516.html Source: Chapnotes, mailto:xanmansa@chapnotes.org?Subject=Subscribe