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WITandWISDOM(tm) - July 26, 2007 ISSN 1538-8794 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: "Until man duplicates a blade of grass, nature can laugh at his so called scientific knowledge." - Thomas Edison Submitted by Lorraine ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: When my grandson was about 4 years old, we went to visit him. He had a new tricycle and was so eager to show his grandparents how he could ride it. About the time he was ready to do so, it began to rain, and he was disappointed that he could not show us. I was sitting in the family room when I saw him march into the house and straight to his bedroom. Curious at his determined look, I followed him at a distance. When he got to his room he knelt beside his bed and prayed: "Dear Jesus, Please let the rain stop long enough for me to show Grandma and Grandpa how I ride my bike. I know the farmers and gardens need the rain, but couldn't it let up for just a few minutes?" Then he got up and went outside and got on his tricycle. In a few minutes the rain stopped, and he hastily rode his tricycle before proud grandparents. I noticed him get off the tricycle and go inside, so I followed him again—at a distance, of course. He again went to his bedroom and knelt beside his bed and prayed: "Dear Jesus, Thank You for stopping the rain for a few minutes. Now You can let it rain all You want for the farmers and gardens." By Normo Reile-Carlson, Mesa, Arizona ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: Top Ten Pet Cemetery Epitaphs 10. Here lies Rex, who now marks his territory with embalming fluid. 9. I TOLD you it wasn't a hairball! 8. Now scratching on St. Peter's door. 7. Here lies Fluffy, who went from sleeping 23 hours a day to 24. 6. FLUUUUUUSH! (Goldfish only) 5. Roll over! Play dead! Good dog. 4. Note to self: have owner check setting on invisible fence. 3. Here lies Lucky. How ironic. 2. Permanently out for walkies. And The Number One Pet Cemetery Epitaph? 1. Stay! [From Chris White's Little Fivers on Pets with edits and additions by Mark Raymond] Source: Mark Mail, http://mrhumor.net/ ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: As she slid behind the wheel for her first driving lesson, my daughter couldn't contain her excitement. "You need to make adjustments so the car is comfortable for you, the driver," I began. "Now, what's the first thing you should do?" "Change the radio station," she said. Submitted by Diana ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: A Dorset man was stunned when he received a gas bill for his two-bedroom rented flat - for £11 million. Denis Dixon knew immediately that it was a mistake - as he had already paid the £500 quarterly bill for the flat in Charminster. He told the Daily Echo : "When I phoned British Gas and told the woman at the other end I was going to have difficulty paying my gas bill, she suggested we could come to some sort of an arrangement. "She checked the bill and then just laughed, saying she could only apologize." Mr Dixon has offered to donate £200 to charity if anyone can prove they have received a bigger bill than £11m. British Gas Business has also agreed to donate £200 to a charity of Mr Dixon's choice as recompense for its mistake. British Gas Business spokesman Mark Duffell said: "Quite clearly, it has been a silly mistake and that bill should not have been sent out. "We have apologized to him. We are looking into exactly what happened. "It was due to human error. The meter had been changed and the wrong reading was taken - clearly it should have been spotted." Source: Ananova (07-06-07) http://www.ananova.com |