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~~~~~~~ WITandWISDOM™ - March 18, 1999
"He who sees the calamity of other people finds his own calamity light." - Arabian Proverb
(E-zine: 4 THOUGHTS OF THE WEEK http://www.netastic.com/4tow/4tow.html)
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
BEATITUDES FOR THE HOME
BLESSED are the husband and wife who continue to be affectionate and considerate, loving after the wedding bells have ceased ringing.
BLESSED are the husband and wife who are as polite and courteous to one another as they are to their friends.
BLESSED are they who have a sense of humor, for this attribute will be a handy shock absorber.
BLESSED are they who love their mates more than any other person in the world and who joyfully fulfill their marriage vows of lifetime of fidelity and mutual helpfulness to one another.
BLESSED are they who attain parenthood, for children are a heritage of the Lord.
BLESSED are they who remember to thank God for their food before they partake of it, and who set apart some time each day for the reading of the Bible and for prayer.
BLESSED are those mates who never speak loudly to one another and who make their home a place where "seldom is heard a discouraging word".
BLESSED are the husband and wife who faithfully attend the worship service of the church and who work together in the church for the advancement of Christ's Kingdom.
BLESSED are the husband and wife who can work out problems of adjustments without interference from relatives.
BLESSED is the couple who has a complete understanding about financial matters and who has worked out a perfect partnership with all money under the control of both.
BLESSED are the husband and wife who humbly dedicate their lives and their home to Christ and who practice the teachings of Christ in the home by being unselfish, loyal, and loving.
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
The best of MIXED UP METAPHORS: Part 2 of 2 (Part 1, 3-8-99)
(Illustrations to help those teaching English)
By Richard Lederer from his book "Anguished English"
I was so surprised you could have knocked me over with a fender.
Let dead dogs sleep.
Stop beating a dead horse to death.
Regret to inform you that the hand that rocked the cradle has kicked the bucket.
From now on, I'm watching everything you do with a fine-tuned comb.
That guy's out to butter his own nest.
I would not have gone in there over my dead body.
Many cities and towns have community gardening programs that need a little more help to get off the ground.
He threw a wet towel on the meeting.
We both had crewcuts, which made our ears stick out like sore thumbs.
In our school, freshmen are on the lowest rungs of the totem pole.
He's between a rock and the deep blue sea.
Let's hope that Steve Carlton gets his curve ball straightened out.
He was a very astute politician with both ears glued to the ground.
I do hope that you don't think I've been making a mountain out of a mole hole, but that's the whole kettle of fish in a nutshell.
(E-zine: THE FUNNIES Mailto:Andychap@aol.com)
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
Late one Saturday evening, I was awakened by the ringing of my phone. In a sleepy grumpy voice I said hello. The party on the other end of the line paused for a moment before rushing breathlessly into a lengthy speech. "Mom, this is Susan and I'm sorry I woke you up, but I had to call because I'm going to be a little late getting home. See, Dad's car has a flat but it's not my fault. Honest! I don't know what happened. The tire just went flat while we were inside the theater. Please don't be mad, okay?" Since I don't have any daughters, I knew the person had misdialed. "I'm sorry dear, "I replied, "but you've reached the wrong number. I don't have a daughter named Susan." "Oh, Mom, "came the young woman's voice, "I didn't think you'd be this mad."
(Kitty's Daily Mews
Why are moths attracted to light? . . . Moths typically enjoy an active nightlife, frolicking after nightfall in search of munchies and mates. Like sailors, moths have long used the stars and moon as navigation tools, keeping on track by using a light point as a reference.
Unfortunately, while our seafaring friends have learned to use modern technology to their advantage, moths still fail to comprehend the concept of artificial lighting. Some moths you see hovering around bulbs were on their way to a date, but ended up going around in circles while trying to keep a constant angle to the light source so they'd know where they were going. Others likely believe the lamp to be the light of the sun and start looking for a place to roost and sleep for the day. Some moths become so confused that they continue to hover until the light is turned off or the sun comes up. Source: WHEN DID WILD POODLES ROAM THE EARTH? By David Feldman
(E-zine: MAILBITS.COM http://www.MailBits.com/Trivia)