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~~~~~~~ WITandWISDOM™ - April 1, 1999

~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS:

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

(James Rhinehart)


One of our WITandWISDOM™ readers, Byard Parks, is leaving for Africa on March 30 and starts speaking on April 1. Byard shares as follows: "Last week I turned 30! What a fantastic celebration my friends threw. We went out to downtown Colorado Springs and set up a 30th b-day party and invited the homeless and poor! My church family set up grills and served hamburgers with all the fixings, Chili and baked potatoes and a Birthday cupcakes. Over 125 people came through line. Lots of run away teenagers, middle-aged homeless men and even some Hell's Angels! As the "birthday boy" it was great to have all these tattooed arms outstretched to me in congratulations and smiles from pierced faces who hadn't had "home-cooked" food in a long time.

"I sat and visited with one young man, Jeremiah, who had a Mohawk, pierced eyebrows, and a hankering to talk. He had a scowl like the visit of a demon and I soon found out he had just bought a gun to murder his father. Recently he had discovered his father had molested his twelve year old sister. A couple other run-away teens came over to join us at our picnic table. Plates loaded with chili-dogs, its seems tatoo dragons and Satanic symbol chains don't seem to dampen ones appreciation for food! Just as these new comers stuffed their mouths with hot-dog, I said, "I am gonna pray here for Jeremy, he has got a lot of rough stuff going on at home, if you guys want to bow your heads your welcome to." You never seen such humble looks! These teens folded their hands like angels, even one of them removing his baseball cap, revealing a huge tatoo of a snake coiled on his shaved head. I learned that for lives in pain, prayer is always welcome. Chili-dogs can wait when the Bread of Life is being served. Amen.

"Friends, please pray for me while I am in South Africa, I will be speaking about 14 times for a camp meeting and for a youth rally. When I return on April 14 I will be flying out to Washington D.C. to speak on the second angels message of Revelation 14 for a young adult conference. My sermon title: "Reverend Frog and his Call Girl Choir." ;-) Thanks for keeping me in your prayers. Your Friend in the Faith, Byard

(Byard Parks)

~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:

John Smith
Temperance R Us
Abstinence, Iowa 12345

Dear Sir:

Perhaps you have heard of me and my nationwide campaign in the cause of temperance. Each year for the past fourteen years, I have made a tour of Florida and Southern Georgia, including Indiana, Iowa and Illinois, and have been accompanied by my young friend and assistant, Clyde Lindstone. Clyde, a young man of good family and excellent background is a pathetic example of life ruined by excessive indulgence in whiskey and debauchery.

Clyde would appear with me at the lectures and sit on the platform wheezing and staring at the audience through bleary bloodshot eyes, sweating profusely, struggling with flatulence, and making coarse comments, while I would point him out as an example of what overindulgence can do to a person.
Last fall, unfortunately, Clyde died. A mutual friend has given me your name, and I wonder if you would be available to take Clyde's place on my 1999 Spring tour?

Yours in Abstinence,
John Smith

(Jim Stern)


The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went.

Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"

(E-zine: KITTY'S DAILY MEWS http://www.katscratch.com)

~~~~~~~ TRIVIA:

When the Riviera United Methodist Church in Redondo Beach, California, needed more money than the Sunday collections were bringing in, the Rev. Orlie White remembered the Biblical parable of the talents. Putting that parable into practice, Rev. White filled a collection place with ten-dollar bills and invited each of his 200 parishioners to take one. He asked them to use the money to try to make more money, then to return the original ten dollars and the amount it had earned to the church.

One woman bought needles and yarn and crocheted covers for clothes hangars, which she sold for a profit of $38. Another used the money to enter a bowling tournament and won a $75 prize for the church. A man and his wife pooled their stake and bought a share of stock for $20; three months later, they sold it for more than $50.

By the end of the year, the original $2,000 had grown into $8,000.
Bits & Pieces, January 7, 1993

(Magazine: BITS & PIECES http://www.epinc.com/)

WITandWISDOM™ Copyright © 1998-2000 by Richard G. Wimer - All Rights Reserved
Any questions, comments or suggestions may be sent to Richard G. Wimer.