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~~~~~~~ WITandWISDOM™ - June 16, 1999
"I beg of you to remember that whenever our life touches yours we help or hinder wherever your life touches ours, you make us stronger or weaker there is no escape - man drags man down, or man lifts man up." - Booker T. Washington
(E-zine: AMERICA'S QUOTE Mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org)
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
A Sunday school teacher had been leading a conversation about saints, and asked if the children knew who the saints were. The youngster thought for a minute and, remembering the stained glass windows in the sanctuary, answered, "The saints are the people the light shines through!"
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
LEARNING OUR ABC'S
A - Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
B - BATHROOM: A room used by the entire family, believed by all except Mom to be self-cleaning.
C - COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
D - DATE: Infrequent outings with Dad where Mom can enjoy worrying about the kids in a different setting.
E - EMPTY NEST: See "WISHFUL THINKING."
F - FABLE: A story told by a teenager arriving home after curfew.
G - GUM: Adhesive for the hair.
H - HINDSIGHT: What Mom experiences from changing too many diapers.
I - INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
J - JUNK: Dad's stuff.
K - KISS: Mom's medicine.
L - LEMONADE STAND: Complicated business venture where Mom buys powdered mix, sugar, lemons, and paper cups, and sets up a table, chairs, pitchers and ice for kids who sit there for three to six minutes and next a profit of 15 cents.
M - MAYBE - No.
N - Nail Polish - part of an assortment of make-up items such as lipstick, eyeliner, blush etc. which ironically make Mom look better while making her young daughter look "like a tramp."
O - OVERSTUFFED RECLINER: Mom's nickname for Dad.
P - PANIC What a mother goes through when the darn wind-up swing stops.
Q - QUIET - A state of household serenity which occurs before the birth of the first child and occurs again after the last child has left for college.
R - REFRIGERATOR: Combination art gallery and air-conditioner for the kitchen.
S - SPOILED ROTTEN: What the kids become after as little as 15 minutes with Grandma.
T - TOWELS: See "FLOOR COVERINGS".
U - UNDERWEAR: An article of clothing, the cleanliness of which ensures the wearer will never have an accident.
V - VACATION: Where you take the family to get away from it all, only to find it there, too.
W - WALLS: Complete set of drawing paper for kids that comes with every room.
X - XOXOXOXOXO: Mom salutation guaranteed to make the already embarrassing note in a kid's lunch box even more mortifying.
Y - "YIPPEE!": What mother's shout the first day of school.
Z - ZUCCHINI: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it.
(E-zine: America's Joke Mailto:email@example.com)
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
An American and his wife were driving in Canada and got lost. Finally they cane into some city. They saw a gentleman on the sidewalk, so the gentleman pulled up to the curb, and the lady let down her window and asked: "Excuse me, sir. Where are we?"
The gentleman on the street replied, "Saskatoon, Saskatchewan."
The lady rolled up the window, turned to her husband and said, "We really are lost. They don't even speak English here!"
(E-zine: TERESA'S JOKERS http://www.eGroups.com/list/jo-jokers/)
France is the fourth leading economic power in the world, and French is the second most spoken language in the world. However:
19% of France call themselves atheists.
Only 16% of France believe that there is one true religion.
France is called "the graveyard for missionaries."
- PRAY, Issue Eight 1998