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WITandWISDOM(tm) - August 31, 1999

~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS:

"The only man who behaved sensibly was my tailor; he took my measurements anew every time he saw me, while all the rest went on with their old measurements and expected them to fit me." - George Bernard Shaw

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Two frogs fell into a deep cream bowl,
One was an optimistic soul;
But the other took the gloomy view,
"I shall drown," he cried, "and so will you."
So with a last despairing cry,
He closed his eyes and said, "Goodbye."
But the frog, with a merry grin,
Said, "I can't get out, but I won't give in!
I'll swim around till my strength is spent.
For having tried, I'll die content."
Bravely he swam until it would seem
His struggles began to churn the cream.
On the top of the butter at last he stopped
And out of the bowl he happily hopped.

(E-zine: DAILY BITS http://www.DailyBits.com)

~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:


One of the zillions of Web sites out there in computer world is devoted to duct tape. People leave notes and messages at the computer site, sharing their love for duct tape and often detailing different uses of the product:

"My grandfather used duct tape to fix the brakes on my grandmother's 1979 Mercedes. She still will not drive any other car."

"It works great to tape the holes shut on the bottom of a canoe."

"We wrap our Christmas gifts using duct tape."

"Use to make a quilt."

"We use it on our cows: blue to tell us she is not milking; red for cows with medicine."

"Wrap around your pants to prevent them from sagging."

"To repair a cracked blender. It now makes a great conversation piece in my kitchen."

"Once my friend got shot with a .22 and I used duct tape to wrap him up. I'm so blessed for duct tape. Thank God he is alive today."

"We were fishing and we caught a fish. It wouldn't stop bouncing around, so we taped it to the side of the boat."

(E-zine: KEITH'S MOSTLY CLEAN HUMOR Mailto:maiser@mail.otherwhen.com?subject=Hlp&body=send%20MCHAWLIST%0d%0 aexit)


The preacher was young and new to the Iowa town, a reader said. On his second day at his newly assigned church, he got a call from a funeral director who asked if the young minister would conduct a short grave side committal service at a small country cemetery nearby.

There was to be no funeral, just the committal, because the deceased had no family or friends left.

The young pastor started early to the cemetery, but soon lost his way. After making several wrong turns, he finally arrived a half-hour late.

The hearse was nowhere in sight, but he saw some workmen relaxing and eating lunch under a tree near a freshly dug hole.

The clergyman went to the site, opened his book and read the service.

As he returned to his car, he overheard one of the workmen say, "Maybe we'd better tell him it's a septic tank."


~~~~~~~ TRIVIA:

Why are automobile tires black? . . . In the early days of automobiles, tires were seldom black. The rubber from which they were made was naturally colored off-white or tan. Today's black tires owe their color to an accidental discovery.

In 1885, the rubber tire company B.F. Goodrich decided to try black tires, thinking that they might not show the dirt as much. They added carbon black pigment to the rubber mixture. To their surprise, they discovered that the carbon-colored rubber tires were five times more durable than the uncolored ones.

Today's tires are far tougher than those first black tires, and much more elaborate. They contain dozens of layers, with steel belts and computer-designed treads. But the basic black rubber is still an important part of the design.

(E-zine: THE LEARNING KINGDOM http://www.tlk-lists.com/join/)

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