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WITandWISDOM(tm) - September 3, 1999

~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS:

"It's taken me all my life to understand that it is not necessary to understand everything." - Rene Coty

(E-zine: MICHELLE'S MIRACLES Mailto:Michelles__Miracles-subscribe@onelist.com)


I work in an Intensive Care unit at a hospital. One of our current patients is the husband of a much loved hospital employee. Upon learning that today would be their 30th wedding anniversary, and knowing he would be distressed at not being able to do anything special for their anniversary, another employee offered to shop on his behalf for a card and flowers. At his suggestion she chose a bouquet that included daisies "because she had them in her wedding bouquet." I know the smile on his face was payment enough - I just wish she could have also seen the ear-to-ear grin on his wife's - but as this fellow employee wished to remain anonymous, she will just have to take my word for it. - By Beryl Unger, a WITandWISDOM(tm) subscriber.

(Beryl Unger)

~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:


The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained how Elijah built the altar, put wood upon it, cut the steer in pieces and laid it upon the altar.

And then Elijah commanded the people of God to fill four barrels of water and pour it over the altar. He had them do this four times.

"Now, said the teacher, "can anyone in the class tell me why the Lord would have Elijah pour water over the steer on the altar?"

A little girl in the back of the room raised her hand with great enthusiasm. "To make the gravy," came her enthusiastic reply.

(E-zine: SERMON FODDER http://www.onelist.com/subscribe.cgi/Sermon_Fodder)


Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50."

The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."

The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. . . and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"

(E-zine: KITTY'S DAILY MEWS http://www.katscratch.com)


Mother: "Why are you home from school so early?"

Son: "I was the only one who could answer a question."

Mother: "Oh, really? What was the question?"

Son: "Who threw the eraser at the principal?"

(E-zine: DAILY BITS http://www.DailyBits.com)


Billy, our five-year-old grandson, helped do yard work and was paid $4. Later, his mother brought him to the toy store. Billy looked over a rack of action figures, asked how much they cost, then remarked, "It's a good thing I'm working." - Sandra S. Jonaitis in Reader's Digest

(E-zine: KEITH'S MOSTLY CLEAN HUMOR Mailto:maiser@mail.otherwhen.com?subject=Hlp&body=send%20MCHAWLIST%0d%0 aexit)


Did you hear of the church custodian who found pastor's sermon notes? One
section was underlined with this note added, "pound on the pulpit and yell louder - this is a weak point."

(E-zine: E-CHEER, An Excellent Daily Devotional )

~~~~~~~ TRIVIA:

KITCHEN TIPS (Part 2 of 2) [Pt 1, 8-23]
- Authors Unknown

Brush beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

Place a slice of apple in hardened brown sugar to soften it back up.

When boiling corn on the cob, add a pinch of sugar to help bring out the corns natural sweetness.

To determine whether an egg is fresh, immerse it in a pan of cool, salted water. If it sinks, it is fresh - if it rises to the surface, throw it away.

If you have problem opening jars: Try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

Potatoes will take food stains off your fingers. Just slice and rub raw potato on the stains and rinse with water.

(E-zine: MICHELLE'S MIRACLES Mailto:Michelles__Miracles-subscribe@onelist.com)

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