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WITandWISDOM(tm) - September 17, 1999

~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS:

I didn't ask for it to be over, but then again, I never asked for it to begin. For that's the way it is with life, as some of the most beautiful days come completely by chance. But even the most beautiful days eventually have their sunsets. - Author Unknown

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"Down the streets of Portsmouth, many years ago, walked a sailor with one arm, one eye, a persistent state of nerves, and unable to tread a ship's deck without being seasick. Indeed he would probably have been in a home for incurables, were not his name Admiral Lord Nelson. The man's spirit drove the flesh. The point is when weighing the characteristics of a leader, remember a stout spirit can drive a weak body a long way," so wrote Lt. General Ira C. Eaker.

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~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:

BASIC GUIDE FOR SCIENTISTS (Part 1 of 2) [Pt 2, 9-28]

I. Science Classification

1. If it's green or it wiggles, it's part of Biology.
2. If it stinks, it's Chemistry.
3. If it doesn't work, it belongs to Physics.

II. Rules for Laboratory Workers

1. When you don't know what you're doing, do it neatly.
2. First draw your curves, then plot the data.
3. Experience is directly proportional to the equipment ruined.
4. Experiments must be reproducible. They should all fail the same way.
5. A record of data is essential. It indicates you have been working.
6. In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
7. Do not believe in miracles, rely on them.
8. Teamwork is essential in the lab. It allows you to blame someone else.
9. Always leave room to add an explanation when it doesn't work.

III. Finagle's Laws, Creed, and Motto

1. First Law- If anything can go wrong with an experiment, it will.
2. Second Law- No matter what result is anticipated, there is always someone willing to fake it.
3. Third Law- No matter what occurs, there is always someone who believes it happened according to his pet theory.
4. Fourth Law- No matter what the result, there is always someone eager to misinterpret it.
5. Creed- Science is truth. Don't be misled by facts.
6. Motto- Smile; tomorrow it will be worse

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Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. However, all the league records were unfortunately destroyed in a fire. Thus we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.

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~~~~~~~ TRIVIA:

EDUCATION, Ask Jeeves for Kids
(Fun for adults too. - Richard )

Pretend you had a personal "Information Butler" named Jeeves. You would ask him anything, in plain English, and he would fetch it for you. Asking, "What's the capital of Arkansas?" wouldn't lead to tourism links in that great state, just the answer. More importantly, parents don't have to worry about their kids getting into "inappropriate" sites.

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