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WITandWISDOM(tm) - October 18, 1999
"We judge ourselves by our motives and others by their actions" - Dwight Morrow
(E-zine: DIVERSIONS DIGEST http://www.worldstart.com/diversions.htm)
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
GOD IS PRESENT
For all the negative things we have to say to ourselves, God has a positive answer for it.
You say: "It's impossible"
God says: All things are possible (Luke 18:27)
You say: "I'm too tired"
God says: I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28-30)
You say: "Nobody really loves me"
God says: I love you (John 3:16 & John 13:34)
You say: "I can't go on"
God says: My grace is sufficient (II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)
You say: "I can't figure things out"
God says: I will direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5-6)
You say: "I can't do it"
God says: You can do all things (Philippians 4:13)
You say: "I'm not able"
God says: I am able (II Corinthians 9:8)
You say: "It's not worth it"
God says: It will be worth it (Roman 8:28)
You say: "I can't forgive myself"
God says: I FORGIVE YOU (I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)
You say: "I can't manage"
God says: I will supply all your needs (Philippians 4:19)
You say: "I'm afraid"
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear (II Timothy 1:7)
You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated"
God says: Cast all your cares on ME (I Peter 5:7)
You say: "I don't have enough faith"
God says: I've given everyone a measure of faith (Romans 12:3)
You say: "I'm not smart enough"
God says: I give you wisdom (I Corinthians 1:30)
You say: "I feel all alone"
God says: I will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
THEY SAID IT IN COURT! :o) Part 3 of 4 [Oct 4, 11, 18, 25]
Next to the strange things you may have said on your first date, comes the comments said in court.
Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: What did she say?
A: "What disco am I at?"
Q: How many trucks do you own?
A: No, about 12
Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
A: After the accident?
Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played for 10 years. I went to school for it and everything.
Q: Tell us your full name, please.
Q: Yes, sir.
Q: Mr. Daniels, do you have any problems hearing me?
A: Not really.
Q: Where do you live?
Q: Are you restricted in some way by having your third finger shot off?
A: Yeah, a little.
Q: What could you do before the accident that you can't do now?
A: Wear a ring on it.
Q: Where do you live?
A: LaPosta Trailer Court.
Q: How do you spell that trailer court?
A: T-r-a-i-l-e-r C-o-u-r-t
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
I spent more than two hours in the beauty shop getting my hair permed, cut and styled. Relieved to be done, I went up to the receptionist to pay. "Good afternoon!" she said cheerfully. "And who's your appointment with today?" - Kenna Latwesen in Reader's Digest http:www.readersdigest.com
(E-zine: KEITH'S MOSTLY CLEAN HUMOR Mailto:email@example.com?body=subscribe%20mchawlist%0d%0aexit)
< BR>~~~~~~~ TRIVIA:
The first U.S. coin to bear the words, "United States of America" was a penny made in 1727. It was also inscribed with the plain-spoken motto: "Mind your own business."
The ridges on the sides of coins are called reeding or milling.
The Australian $5, $10, $20, $50 and $100 notes are made out of plastic.
The number in the lower-right corner of the NEW $20, $50, and $100 bills changes color at different angles to prevent cons from copying them.
(E-zine: TODAY'S USELESS FACTS Mailto:Useless_Facts- firstname.lastname@example.org)