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WITandWISDOM(tm) - March 28, 2000

~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS:

You don't get paid for the hour. You get paid for the value you bring to the hour. - E James Rohn

(E-zine: PETER'S PEARLS Mailto:subscribe@peterspearls.com.au )


A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "but no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

(E-zine: KITTY'S DAILY MEWS Mailto:kittysdailymews-subscribe@topica.com)

~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:


When you're a parent you become an idiot. It's not our fault. It's the television shows we watch. I used to watch the news. Now I watch Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers.

I want to buy a car, determined to give the salesman a run for his money. I had forgotten: I'm an idiot. I walked up to him and said,

"The car is nice. The look is handsome.
But the price you ask is a king's ransom.
There is no need for me to stay.
I will not buy this car today."

Wait a minute, I thought. I just became Dr. Seuss for a second! The salesman was obviously a parent because he said,

"Would you? Could you? On a dare,
buy this car with factory air?
If I throw in a music box,
would you buy this Audi Fox?"

I said,

"I would not, could not on a dare,
I do not want your factory air.
I would not buy it in the rain.
I would not buy it on a train.
Not in a house. Not in a mouse.
Not in a goat. Not in a moat.
I don't care if it runs on green eggs & ham,
I will not buy it Sam I Am!"

- Robert G. Lee

(E-zine: KITTY'S DAILY MEWS Mailto:kittysdailymews-subscribe@topica.com via E-zine: TERESA'S JOKERS Mailto:jo-jokers- subscribe@egroups.com)



A dog walks into Western Union and asks the clerk to send a telegram.

He fills out a form on which he writes down the telegram he wishes to send: "Bow wow wow, Bow wow wow."

The clerk says, "You can add another 'Bow wow' for the same price."

"But," the dog responded, "wouldn't that sound a little silly?"

(E-zine: CLEAN HEWMOR Mailto:clean-hewmor- subscribe@welovegod.org)

~~~~~~~ TRIVIA:

Are there really alligators in New York City sewers?

I hope that, like me, you've been sophisticated enough not to believe the urban legend about alligators under the streets of New York City. The story goes that people brought baby alligators back from Florida, got tired of them and flushed them down the toilet. A few creatures survived and grew up in the sewers. What bunk!

Surprise! At least something real is tied to this tale. On February 9, 1935, a few boys were shoveling snow into an open Manhattan manhole when they saw something moving below: a 7- foot-long, 125 pound alligator! It appeared injured and the boys managed to lasso it and bring it up. When it snapped at them, they killed it. The police, who confirmed the story, theorized that the creature might have fallen from a boat in the nearby Harlem River. But who knows? Maybe, just maybe . . .

(E-zine: THE DAILY TRIVIA Mailto:trivia-on@mail-list.com)

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