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WITandWISDOM(tm) - May 11, 2000

~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS:

The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one. - Mark Twain

Source: Bits & Pieces, Copyright (c) Economic Press, Inc., www.epinc.com via http://www.witandwisdom.org



Once upon a time a child was ready to be born, So one day he asked God:

They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?

Among the many angels, I chose one for you, She will be waiting for you to take care of you.

But tell me, here in Heaven, I don't do anything else but sing and smile, that's enough for me to be happy.

Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you every day. And you will feel your angel's love and be happy.

And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me, if I don't know the language that men talk?

Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak.

And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?

Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray.

I've heard that on earth there are bad men. Who will protect me?

Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life.

But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore.

Your angel will always talk to you about me and will teach you the way for you to come back to me, even though I will always be next to you.

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from earth could already be heard, and the child in a hurry asked softly; Oh God, if I am about to leave you now, please tell me my angel's name.

Your angel's name is of no importance, you will call your angel: . . . . Mommy.

Submitted by: Larry Reed

~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:

TEST YOUR WITS Part 2 of 2 [May 1 & 11]

This test does not measure your intelligence, your fluency with words and certainly not your mathematical ability. It will, however, give you some gauge of your mental flexibility and creativity. In the three years since the test was developed, few people could solve more than half the 23 questions on the first try. Many, however, reported getting answers long after the test had been set aside, particularly at unexpected moments when their minds were relaxed; and some reported solving all the questions over a period of several days.

INSTRUCTIONS: Each question below contains the initial of words that will make it correct. Find the missing words.

Example: 16 = O in a P. is 16 Ounces in a Pound

24. 40 = D. and N. of the G.F.
25. 52 = W. in a Y.
26. 16 = M. on a D.M.C.
27. 20,000 = L.U. the S.
28. 100 = P. in a D.
29. 2 = C. you put in
30. 360 = D. in a C.
31. 12 = A.
32. 4 + 20 = B.B.B. in a P.
33. 9= D. old P.P. is
34. 0 = L. in T.
35. 3 = F.G. in F.B.
36. 9 = P. on a B.B.T.
37. 3,600 = S. in an H.
38. 3 = F. merry O.K.C. had
39. 13 = B.D.
40. 7 = L.F.
41. 7 = D. in S.W.
42. 18 = L.A. of an A.


24. 40 Days and Nights of the Great Flood
25. 52 Weeks in a Year
26. 16 Men on a Dead Man's Chest (from the book Treasure Island)
27. 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea
28. 100 Pennies in a Dollar
29. 2 Cents you put in
30. 360 Degrees in a Circle
31. 12 Apostles
32. 4 + 20 Black Birds Baked in a Pie
33. 9 Days old Pease Porridge is
34. 0 Love in Tennis
35. 3 Field Goal in Football
36. 9 Players on a Baseball Team
37. 3,600 Seconds in an Hour
38. 3 Fiddlers merry Old King Cole had
39. 13 Baker's Dozen
40. 7 Little Foys
41. 7 Dwarfs in Snow White
42. 18 Legal Age of an Adult

Source: Clean Hewmor, clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org via http://www.witandwisdom.org


An old man was a witness in a burglary case.

The defense lawyer asked Sam, "Did you see my client commit this burglary?"

"Yes," said Sam , "I saw him plainly take the goods."

The lawyer asks Sam again, "Sam, this happened at night. Are you sure you saw my client commit this crime?"

"Yes" says Sam, "I saw him do it."

Then the lawyer asks Sam, "Sam listen, you are 80 years old and your eye sight probably is bad. Just how far can you see at night?"

Sam says, "I can see the moon, how far is that?"

Source: Kitty's Daily Mews, Copyright (c) 1997-2000 All rights reserved worldwide, kittysdailymews-subscribe@topica.com via http://www.witandwisdom.org

~~~~~~~ TRIVIA:

You get an honest 56 Kbps connection (to a local number) at no cost. In exchange, you have to put up with annoying ads embedded in a permanent on-screen banner.

The two biggest free ISPs are NETZERO ( http://www.netzero.com ), which gives away service under its own name, and ISTUP.COM, which provides a service that other companies, such as ALTAVISTA: SEARCH ( http://www.altavista.com ) and THESIMPSONS ( http://www.thesimpsons.com ), rebrand and offer as their own. Other notables include FREEINTERNET.COM ( http://www.freeinternet.com ) who at press time were the only service that supported Macs and IFREEDOM.COM ( http://www.ifreedom.com ) An excellent and frequently updated listing of these and other free ISPs is maintained at http://freebies.about.com/shopping/freebies .

According to customers surveyed by Jupiter Communications, these providers are not as reliable as regular dial-up ISPs. However, in a recent and thoroughly unscientific test conducted by this Y-Life columnist, AltaVista and iFreedom.com frequently outran both AT&T WorldNet and Verio during peak Net usage hours in New York City. There were no busy signals in roughly 30 calls to the local number of the free ISPs.

If you spend only a couple of hours a week on the Net, these services provide all the access you'll ever need. Heavy users, however, should probably stick to pay services and access the freebies on days when regular service is slow or conks out. Also, free ISPs are an absolute godsend for cable modem and DSL users, who tend to suffer more Net outages than most pay-for-use dial-up subscribers. In particular, 1stUp.com and its partners tread lightly on your system and require a mere 600K download. The service even works with AOL.

Yes, (probably referring to the USA) but don't even think about signing up for a free ISP if your system can't display an 800-by-600-pixel screen. Even at a 1,024-by-768 resolution on a 19-inch monitor, the obtrusive AltaVista banner can get in your way. Also, ad banners aren't just a passive annoyance with most of these services: Unless you click on an ad every 20 minutes or so, you get timed out.

By Lou Dolinar who writes the PLUGGED IN column for NEWSDAY.

Source: Yahoo! Internet Life, Copyright (c) May 2000

Just an addition to your free ISP list: http://www.Freewwweb.com Not only is this service totally free, it's also ad free. I couldn't believe it until I tried it for myself about a year ago. I have been using it ever since. No ads, no fees, no gimmicks. Submitted by By Dave Wooten

WITandWISDOM™ Copyright © 1998-2000 by Richard G. Wimer - All Rights Reserved
Any questions, comments or suggestions may be sent to Richard G. Wimer.