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WITandWISDOM(tm) - May 15, 2000
Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace amid the storm. - Author Unknown
Source: Thought for Today, firstname.lastname@example.org via http://www.witandwisdom.org
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
My little, 10 year old daughter, Sarah, who was born with a muscle missing in her foot and wears a brace all the time. She came home one beautiful spring day to tell me she had competed in "field day" - that's where they have lots of races and other competitive events. Because of her leg support, my mind raced as I tried to think of encouragement for my Sarah, things I could say to her about not letting this get her down - but before I could get a word out, she said "Daddy, I won two of the races!" I couldn't believe it! And then Sarah said, "I had an advantage." Ah. I knew it. I thought she must have been given a head start . . . some kind of physical advantage. But again, before I could say anything, she said, "Daddy, I didn't get a head start . . . My advantage was I had to try harder!" By Stan Frager
Source: Condensed Chicken Soup for the Soul, Copyright (c) 1996 by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen & Patty Hansen, www.soupserver.com via http://www.witandwisdom.org
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
EXCUSES FOR NOT COMING TO WORK:
Part 2 of 2 [May 2 & 15]
Apparently these are the winners from a Washington Post contest for excuses to give your boss for not coming into work:
When I got up this morning I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac. I can't get off the john, but I feel good about it.
My stigma's acting up.
Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.
The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I am startled.
The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet.
I can't come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation.
My wife makes more money than I do, so I have to stay at home with our sick son.
I refuse to travel to my job in the District until there is a commuter tax. I insist on paying my fair share.
I'm feeling a little disgruntled this morning. You sure I should come in?
Submitted by: Heidi Webber via http://www.witandwisdom.org
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
A diner at Teck Whye,
A fly in his soup did spy,
At the waiter he hollered,
Who told him "for a dollar,
That is all the meat we supply"
Source: Keith's Mostly Clean Humor, McHawListemail@example.com via http://www.witandwisdom.org
This summer, researchers at Sandia National Laboratories will roll out a computer program to help doctors more quickly identify diseases and contain outbreaks. With Sandia's program, doctors will be able to transmit a patient's symptoms and other data - along with a probable diagnosis - over the Internet to a central computer, which generates color-coded maps based on the information. The maps will give doctors a quick geographic reference point for the symptoms, making it easier to identify possible outbreaks and track disease carriers. If physicians see signs that the disease is spreading, they could take steps to curtail further infections. For now, only doctors at a Sandia-affiliated hospital at University of New Mexico are participating in the program. But Sandia hopes to expand the trials, and the Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta may get involved.
Source: Business Week, Copyright (c), May 8, 2000 via http://www.witandwisdom.org