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WITandWISDOM(tm) - June 9, 2000

~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS:

"I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true." - By Abraham Lincoln

Source: Signs of the Times, Copyright (c) July 12, 1910, Pacific Press, www.pacificpress.com/signs via http://www.witandwisdom.org

Submitted by: Dale Galusha


A friend of mine shared a little "parable in real life" that God sent her several years ago.

When her son was quite small, he had a small stuffed gorilla that he wagged around with him everywhere -- and I do mean EVERYWHERE -- he went. She could sometimes sneak it away for a quick laundering during nap time, but Heaven help her if her son awoke before his friend "Rilla" was out of the dryer! As such '"loveys" will do, Rilla's seams gradually began to weaken and his stuffing began to leak.

As she tells it, "Poor old Rilla was in desperate need of some corrective surgery, not to mention a stuffing transplant. One day, John waddled up to me and held up his battered, beloved Rilla and said, 'Mommy, Rilla's broked.' I explained that I would be happy to fix Rilla up -- a little new stuffing, some seam reinforcement, and he would be 'all better' again. John held Rilla out toward me, and said 'Fizzit, Mommy!' But, when I reached down to take the little gorilla in my hands, I found that it had a two-year-old firmly attached to it. As all parents know, a tug-of-war with a two-year-old is frequently a losing proposition, and is ALWAYS accompanied by loud cries and copious tears. Finally, in exasperation, I said, 'I can't fix it until you let go of it!!!' And just at that moment, the Spirit of God tapped me on the shoulder, as it were -- and I realized that God was waiting for me to let go of several things, too."

By Keith Todd (c) 1999 Keith Todd & Associates via http://www.witandwisdom.org

Source: Sermon Fodder, Sermon_Fodder- subscribe@onelist.com

~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:


I'm not aging, I just need re-potting.

My idea of cleaning the house is sweeping the floor with a glance.

I cleaned my house yesterday, sure wish you could have seen it.

This isn't clutter, these are my antiques!

"Genuine Antique Person," Been there, done that, can't remember!

Your secrets are safe with me and all my friends.

I have a million dollar figure - but it's all loose change!

By the time you find greener pastures, you can't climb the fence!

This house is protected by killer dust bunnies.

Source: The Funnies, andychaps_the-funnies-subscribe@egroups.com via http://www.witandwisdom.org

Submitted by: Donna Eick


A man was walking through the grounds of a university one morning when he noticed a young blind woman struggling with her Guide-Dog. The animal was resolutely pulling in one direction, she in another. When he offered assistance, the woman replied, "No thanks, this is a family argument. The dog knows I'm supposed to go to a lecture right now -- but I want to miss it."

Source: Peter's Pearls, subscribe@peterspearls.com.au via http://www.witandwisdom.org

~~~~~~~ TRIVIA:

Harvard University mathematician Persi Diaconis has been studying how many times it takes to shuffle a deck of 52 playing cards, "Most people shuffle cards three or four times," says Diaconis, "Five times is considered excessive." Yet he has calculated that it takes seven shuffles to mix thoroughly a deck of playing cards. Fewer are not enough; more will not improve the mix.

Using a computer, Diaconis worked out the mathematical proof - a complicated process considering the number of possible arrangements of a deck of cards. Any of 52 cards can be first, any of 51 second, and so on. The number of possible mixes is (are you ready for this?): 80,658,175,170,943,878,571,660,636,856,403,766,975,289,505,440,883,277,824,000, 000,000,000.

Another mystery of the universe put to rest!

Submitted by: Gary B. Swanson via http://www.witandwisdom.org

WITandWISDOM™ Copyright © 1998-2000 by Richard G. Wimer - All Rights Reserved
Any questions, comments or suggestions may be sent to Richard G. Wimer.