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WITandWISDOM(tm) - October 23, 2000

~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS:

"Whoever acquires knowledge and does not practice it resembles him who ploughs his land and leaves it unsown." - Gulistan (1258)

Source: Awesome Quotes, www.coolnewsletters.com via http://www.witandwisdom.org


By Browning Ware,
Pastor Emeritus of First Baptist Church in Austin, Texas.

When I was younger, I thought there was probably an answer to every problem. For a time, I knew many of the answers.

I knew about parenting until I had children.

I knew about divorce until I got one.

I knew about suicide until three of my closest friends took their lives in the same year.

I knew about the death of a child until my child died.

I'm not as impressed with answers as once I was. Answers seem so pallid, sucked dry and void of life. Knowing answers seduces us into making pronouncements. I still have a few friends or acquaintances who are 100% sure on most anything, and are ready to make pronouncements on homosexuality, AIDS, teenage pregnancies, abortion, sex education or whatever is coming down the pike. But, when we get shoved into the valley of our shadow, a pronouncement is the last thing we want.

More important and satisfying than answers is the Answerer.

"You [God] are with me" - that's what we crave. There may or may not be answers, but the Eternal One would like very much to be our companion.

Source: Weekend Encounter, by Dick Innes, Copyright (c) 2000 www.actsweb.org/subscribe.htm via http://www.witandwisdom.org

~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:


We know that men are not quite as adept at fashion as women. In fact guys will sometimes wear anything with anything. This creates the false impression that guys just "throw" any old thing on. This however is not the case. As this handy little guide points out, getting dressed is a highly complex and organized ritual for men.

The Male Guide to Selecting an Outfit

---------- ----------- No -------------------
| Are there| No | Are there | "What's a | Are there clothes |
|clothes in|---->|clothes in | hamper?" | strewn in random |
| dresser? | |the hamper?|---------->|piles on the floor?|
---------- ----------- -------------------
| Yes | Yes | Yes | No
V----<-----<-------<------<-----<----< V
| -------
V | Buy |
--------------- | more |
| Take whatever | |clothes|
| is on top | -------
--------------- ------<---------<------
| | ^
V V |
-------- No --------- -----------
| Is |------------>| Perform | "Ohmy" | Spray |
| it | Not sure | smell |------------->| with |
| clean? |------------>| test | | deodorant |
-------- --------- -----------
| Yes | "Not bad"
-------------- ---------
|For underwear:| "Which ones are |Will they| "I may get
|Are there many| for my legs?" | be | arrested."
| holes? |----------------->| visible?|--------
-------------- --------- |
| | |
| No | No V
+------------------------------ -------------
| |Place item on|
| | dirty pile; |
| | start over |
| -------------
--------- ------------ ----------------------
| Is it | Yes | Do you | Yes | But would you rather |
|wrinkled?|----->|really care?|----->| have a tick on your |
--------- ------------ | eyeball than iron a |
| No | No | shirt? |
| | ----------------------
| | | Yes
-------- Kinda ------- -----------
| Does |------------------>| Is it | No | Seek the |
| it | "Does it what?" | dark |------->| advice of |
| match? |------------------>| out? | | a female |
-------- ------- -----------
| Yes | Yes
| Put on |
| clothes! |

Submitted by Walt Groff


One night at about 3 am my wife had just finished using the bathroom and was about to return to bed when she heard a little noise. It was a suspiciously rodent like sound that seemed to be right in the bathroom with her. She of course froze and listened attentively for any further sign of invaders. After a moment, satisfied that she was alone, she took a step for the door. Rodent scratchy sounds again! She froze, not breathing . . . Silence. Her heart beat fast as she once again tried to retreat from the bathroom.

This time the noise was accompanied by something touching the back of her leg! That was, of course, too much to bear. She literally flew the 8 feet to the bed, clearing the foot board by a couple feet, to land screaming by my side. This is not a pleasant way to wake up. Scrambling into consciousness, now scared half to death myself, I managed to get the light on.

The culprit was right there in plain sight, a trail of toilet paper neatly marked the path from bed to bathroom.

Source: The Funnies, andychaps_the-funnies-subscribe@egroups.com via http://www.witandwisdom.org

~~~~~~~ TRIVIA:

"I have a little 5" TV/FM set sitting on top of my computer monitor. It's rather old and the picture wasn't very good. One day I had it on when the computer was off. Guess what -- the picture was perfect. My solution was simple -- put a piece of aluminum foil under the set to act as a magnetic shield so that the monitor wouldn't interfere with the TV. It worked perfectly. Total cost -- about 1/10 of a cent."

By Dave George in E-Cheer Devotional, Copyright (c) 2000, www.e-cheer.com via http://www.witandwisdom.org

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