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WITandWISDOM(tm) - April 4, 2001
"If you want a place in the sun, you have to expect a few blisters." - Loretta Young
Submitted by Joan Wester Anderson author of Loretta Young's biography, "Forever Young . . . " http://www.apostles.com/foreveryoung.html
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
Several years ago a pastor friend of mine moved to Houston, Texas. Some weeks after he arrived, he had occasion to ride the bus from his home to the down-town area. When he sat down, he discovered that the driver had accidentally given him ten cents too much change.
As he considered what to do, there alternately appeared to him little angelic figures sitting on his shoulders and whispering instructions into his ears. One said, "You better give the dime back. It would be wrong to keep it." On the other shoulder a voice said, "Oh forget it. It's just ten cents. Who would worry about this little amount. Anyway the bus company already gets too much fare. With their millions every-day they will never miss it. Accept it as a gift from God and keep quiet."
When his stop came he paused momentarily at the front door, and, handing the driver the dime he said, "Here. You handed me too much change." The driver replied, "Aren't you the new pastor in town? I have been thinking lately about going to church somewhere. I just wanted to see what you would do if I gave you ten cents too much change."
When my friend stepped off the bus he literally grabbed the nearest light pole, and held on, and said, "O God, I almost sold your Son for ten cents."
-Written by Alan Johnson, Romans, "The Freedom"
Submitted by Jo Walters
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
These signs might not communicate what was hoped for.
On a California freeway:
Fine for Littering
On the wall of a British Columbia cleaning service:
Able to Do the Worst Possible Job
In a Kansas City oculist's office:
Broken lenses duplicated here
In a Boston fast-food parking lot:
Parking for Drive-Through Customers Only
On the Triborough Bridge in New York:
In Event of Air Attack Drive Off Bridge
At the basketball court in a Gastonton, North Carolina, YMCA:
Anyone caught hanging from the rim will be suspended
On the door of an Ellsworth, Maine, restaurant:
The Indian Trading Post will be closed for Yom Kippur
In a Grand Rapids restaurant:
Half baked chicken
In a Dayton barbershop:
During vacation of owner, a competent hair stylist will be here
On a Jacksonville, Florida, bookstore:
Rare, out-of-print, and nonexistent books
On a library in Marlboro, New Hampshire, honoring Robert Frost:
Frost Free Library
Source: Clean Laugh, cleanlaugh- email@example.com
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
Five years after my wife, Bridgid, and I were married, we received our final wedding gift - an ice-cream maker. In an attempt to cover procrastination with humor, the friend who sent it included a note: "I wanted to make sure the marriage would last." Bridgid wasn't amused, but she thought the present deserved a thank-you note anyway, which she dutifully sent five years later. Her note read: "I wanted to be sure the ice-cream maker would last." - Contributed by Don Kardong
Source: Reader's Digest, Copyright (c) August 2000, www.readersdigest.com
About a hundred years ago, in New York, Sholom Aleichem was introduced to Mark Twain as "the Jewish Mark Twain", already famous for his timeless stories of European life, by then considered classics. "I wanted to meet you," Mark Twain said, "because I'm told that I'm the American Sholom Aleichem." There are many interesting similarities between these two authors -- from their witty writing style to the fact they both used pseudonyms.
Submitted by John L. Hoh, Jr. www.geocities.com/brandedhand/