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WITandWISDOM(tm) - July 6, 2001
"I don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom." - General George S. Patton
Source: The Funnies, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/andychaps_the- funnies
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
Every Sunday afternoon, after the morning service at their church, the Pastor and his eleven-year-old son would go out into their town and hand out Gospel Tracts. This particular Sunday afternoon, as it came time for the Pastor and his son to go to the streets with their tracts, it was cold outside as well as pouring down rain.
The boy bundled up in his warmest and driest clothes and said - "OK Dad, I'm ready." His Pastor dad asked - "Ready for what ? " "Dad, it's time we gather our tracts together and go out." Dad responds - "Son, it's very cold outside and it's pouring down rain." The boy gives his dad a surprised look, asking - "But Dad, aren't people still going to Hell, even though it's raining?" Dad answers - "Son, I am not going out in this weather."
Despondently the boy asks - "Dad, can I go - please?" His father hesitated for a moment then said - "Son, you can go. Here's the tracts; be careful son." " Thanks Dad!!! " And with that he was off and out into the rain. This eleven-year-old boy walked the streets of the town going door to door and handing a Gospel tract to everybody he met in the street. After two hours of walking in the rain he was soaking bone-chilled wet and down to his VERY LAST TRACT. He stopped on a corner and looked for someone to hand a tract to, but the streets were totally deserted. Then he turned toward the first home he saw and started up the sidewalk to the front door and rang the door bell. He rang the bell - but nobody answered. He rang it again and again but still no one answered. He waited but still no answer.
Finally this eleven-year-old trooper turned to leave but something stopped him. Again, he turned to the door and rang the bell and knocked loudly on the door with his fist. He waited, something holding him there on the front porch. He rang again, and this time the door slowly opened. Standing in the doorway was a very sad looking elderly lady. She softly asked - "What can I do for you son?"
With radiant eyes and a smile that lit up her world this little boy said - "Ma'am, I'm sorry if I disturbed you, but I just want to tell you that JESUS REALLY DOES LOVE YOU, and I came to give you my very last Gospel tract which will tell you all about JESUS and His great LOVE." With that he handed her his last tract, and turned to leave. She called to him as he departed - "Thank you, son! And God bless you!"
Well, the following Sunday morning in church, Pastor Dad was in the pulpit and as the service began he asked - " Does anybody have a testimony or want to say anything?" Slowly, in the back row of the church, an elderly lady stood to her feet. As she began to speak a look of glorious radiance came from her face as she said - "None of you in this church know me. I've never been here before. You see, before last Sunday I was not a Christian. My husband has passed on, some time ago, leaving me totally alone in this world.
Last Sunday, being a particularly cold and rainy day, it was even more so in my heart as I came to the end of the line where I no longer had any hope or will to live. So I took a rope and a chair and ascended the stairway into the attic of my home. I fastened the rope securely to a rafter in the roof then stood on the chair and fastened the other end of the rope around my neck. Standing on that chair, so lonely and brokenhearted, I was about to leap off when suddenly the loud ringing of my doorbell downstairs startled me. I thought - 'I'll wait a minute, and whoever it is will go away.' I waited and waited - But the ringing doorbell seemed to get louder and more insistent and then the person ringing also started knocking loudly. I thought to myself again - 'Who on earth could this be?! Nobody ever rings my bell or comes to see me." I loosened the rope from my neck and started for the front door, all the while the bell rang louder and louder. When I opened the door and looked I could hardly believe my eyes for there on my front porch was the most radiant and angelic little boy I had ever seen in my life. His SMILE - oh, I could never describe it to you!!! And the words that came from his mouth caused my heart, that had long been dead, TO LEAP TO LIFE as he exclaimed with his cherub-like voice - 'Ma'am, I just came to tell you that JESUS REALLY DOES LOVE YOU.' Then he gave me this Gospel tract that I now hold in my hand. As the little angel disappeared back out, in the cold and rain, I closed my door and read slowly every word of this Gospel tract.
Then I went up to my attic to get my rope and chair. I wouldn't be needing them any more. You see, I am now a Happy Child of the KING, and since the address of your church was on the back of this Gospel tract I have come here to personally say THANK YOU TO GOD'S LITTLE ANGEL WHO CAME JUST IN THE NICK OF TIME AND, BY SO DOING, SPARED MY SOUL FROM ETERNITY IN HELL ."
There were now no dry eyes in the church. And as shouts of praise, and honor to THE KING, resounded off the very rafters of the building, Pastor Dad descended from the pulpit to the front pew where the little angel was seated; he took him in his arms and sobbed uncontrollably. Probably no church has had a more glorious moment. AND probably this Universe has never seen a Papa that was more filled with love and honor for his son - EXCEPT for one - this FATHER also allowed His Son to go out into a Cold & Dark World. He received His Son back with Joy unspeakable, and as all of Heaven shouted Praises and Honor to THE KING, The FATHER sat HIS BELOVED SON on a Throne far above all Principality and Power ....and every name that is named....
There may be SOMEONE, reading this, who is also going through a dark, cold, lonely time in your soul. You may be a Christian, for we are not without problems, OR you may not yet know THE KING. Whatever the case, and whatever the problem or situation you find yourself in, and no matter how DARK it may seem, I want you to know that I just came to tell you - JESUS REALLY DOES LOVE YOU !!
- Author Unknown
Submitted by Rod Keen
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
From a newspaper contest where entrants were asked to imitate "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey"
It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's birthday, like they do for the queen. Of course, then we would have a lot of people voting for a candidate born on July 3 or December 26, just for the long weekends.
Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number.
It would be terrible if the Red Cross Bloodmobile got into an accident. No, wait. That would be good because if anyone needed it, the blood would be right there.
For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. That's what happens to cheese when you leave it out.
Think of the biggest number you can. Now add five. Then, imagine if you had that many Twinkies. Wow, that's five more than the biggest number you could come up with!
The only stupid question is the one that is never asked, except maybe "Don't you think it is about time you audited my return?" or "Isn't is morally wrong to give me a warning when, in fact, I was speeding?"
If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started.
Source: Oracle Humor, http://www.oraclehumor.com/
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
At ceremonies commemorating the hundredth anniversary of Harry S. Truman's birth, the White House counsel during the Truman Administration was reminiscing. He recalled being at a White House banquet one night when one of the guests turned to the woman seated next to him. "Did I get your name correctly?" he asked. "Is your name Post?" "Yes, it is," the woman answered. "Is it Emily Post?" "Yes," she replied. "Are you the world-renowned authority on manners?" the man asked. "Yes," Mrs. Post said. "Why do you ask?" "Because," the man said, "you have just eaten my salad."
TASTE BUD TRIVIA:
- The tongue has 9,000 taste buds, each having 10-15 receptacles that send messages to the brain.
-Over a 12-day period, your body generates a whole new set of taste buds. This process continues until you reach your 70s and 80s.
- Smoking, alcohol, caffeine, spicy and hot foods, onion and garlic dull taste buds. It takes 24 hours for taste buds to cleanse themselves after being exposed to these substances.
- Taste buds are most sensitive right after a night's sleep.
Source: Gleaner, July 2001, ISSN 0746-5874, firstname.lastname@example.org
Submitted by Nancy Simpson