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WITandWISDOM(tm) - August 7, 2001

~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS:

Friendship should not be thought of as something we get; it is something we give. - Author Unknown

Source: Bits & Pieces, November 12, 1992, Copyright (c) Economic Press, Inc., http://www.epinc.com


Not too long ago I had "one of those days." I was feeling pressure from a writing deadline. I had company arriving in a couple days and the toilet was clogged. I went to the bank, and the trainee teller processing my deposit had to start over three times. I swung by the supermarket to pick up a few things and the lines were serpentine. By the time I got home, I was frazzled and sweaty and in a hurry to get something on the table for dinner.

Deciding on Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup, I grabbed a can opener, cranked open the can, then remembered I had forgotten to buy milk at the store. Nix the soup idea. Setting the can aside, I went to plan B, which was leftover baked beans. I grabbed the Tupperware container from the fridge, popped the seal, took a look and groaned. My husband isn't a picky eater, but even He won't eat baked beans that look like they did!

Really frustrated now, I decided on a menu that promised to be as foolproof as it is nutrition-free: hot dogs and potato chips. Retrieving a brand new bag of chips from the cupboard, I grabbed the cellophane and gave a hearty pull. The bag didn't open. I tried again. Nothing happened. I took a breath, doubled my muscle, and gave the bag a hearty wrestle. With a loud pop, the cellophane suddenly gave way, ripping wide from top to bottom. Chips flew sky high. I was left holding the bag, and it was empty.

It was the final straw. I let out a blood curdling scream. "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" My husband heard my unorthodox cry for help. Shortly he was standing at the doorway to the kitchen, where he surveyed the damage: an opened can of soup, melting groceries, moldy baked beans, and one quivering wife standing ankle deep in potato chips. My husband did the most helpful thing he could think of at the moment. He took a flying leap, landing flat-footed in the pile of chips. And then he began to stomp and dance and twirl.

I stared. I fumed. Pretty soon I was working to stifle a smile. Eventually I had to laugh. And finally I decided to join him. I, too, took a leap onto the chips. And then I danced. Now I'll be the first to admit that my husband's response wasn't the one I was looking for. But the truth is, it was exactly what I needed. I didn't need a cleanup crew as much as I needed an attitude adjustment, and the laughter from that rather funky moment provided just that.

So now I have a question for you, and it's simply this: Has God ever stomped on your chips? Plenty of times I've cried out for help, all the while hoping God would show up with a celestial broom and clean up the mess. What often happens instead is that God dances on my chips, answering my prayer in a completely different manner than I had expected, but in the manner that is best for me after all.

From the book, "Just Hand over the Chocolate and No One Will Get Hurt" by Karen Linamen. Copyright (c) February 1999 by Baker Book House; ISBN: 0800756940, http://isbn.nu/0800756940/price

Submitted by Carol Blum, Sharon Hamel, Rindi Patterson, Carol Hunter, Donna Eick

~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:

There was an old man of Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
But his daughter (named Nan)
Ran away with a man.
And, as for the bucket -- Nattucket

Pa followed the pair to Pawtucket --
(The man, and the girl with the bucket)
And Pa said to the man
"You're welcome to Nan,"
But as for the bucket -- Pawtucket!

Then the pair followed Pa to Manhasset
Where he still held the cash as an asset.
And Nan and the man
Stole the cash and they ran.
And, as for the bucket -- Manhasset!

Crosby's Dictionary of Puns, Harmony Books, (C) 1977, ISBN: 0517531240 http://isbn.nu/0517531240/price

Source: Gentle Humor, mailto:words@iop.com?subject=Subscribe


My two-year-old cousin scared us this past summer by disappearing during our lakeside vacation.

More than a dozen relatives searched the forest and shoreline, and everyone was relieved when we found Matthew playing calmly in the woods.

"Listen to me!" his mother said sharply. "From now on when you want to go someplace, you tell Mommy first, okay?"

Matthew thought about that for a moment and said,

"Okay, Disney World."

Source: Kitty's Daily Mews, Copyright (c) 1997-2001 All rights reserved worldwide, http://www.katscratch.com/

~~~~~~~ TRIVIA:

Why don't doors in homes open outward as they do in all public buildings?

The reason for the outward orientation of doors in public places is simple: in case of danger, as in a fire, people have to be able to open the door and pour through the doorway quickly and in great numbers. If the doors opened inward, people might pile up at the exit as everyone pushed to get through at once instead of stepping back to allow space for the door to be opened.

Doors open inward in homes at least the front door does because they sometimes have to be removed from the hinges in order to allow furniture to be moved in. If the hinges were on the outside, burglars could also remove them. Since there are fewer people in a home, there's no danger of a pileup at the door in case of fire.

I hope that opened a window onto an interesting phenomenon for you.

From: Why Do Dogs Have Wet Noses?: And Other Imponderables of Everyday Life, By Feldman, David Published by William A. Thomas Braille Bookstore, Copyright (c) December 1992, ISBN: 1569561036, http://isbn.nu/1569561036/price

Source: MailBits.com Trivia, Copyright (c) 1998-2001. All rights reserved. Http://MailBits.com/

WITandWISDOM™ Copyright © 1998-2001 by Richard G. Wimer - All Rights Reserved
Any questions, comments or suggestions may be sent to Richard G. Wimer.