WITandWISDOM™ - E-zine

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WITandWISDOM(tm) - September 10, 2001

~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS:

To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Source: Granny's Funnies


Wishing to encourage her young son's progress at the piano, a mother bought tickets to an Ignace Paderewski performance. When the night arrived, the two found their seats near the front of the concert hall. The boy stared in wide-eyed amazement at the majestic grand piano on the stage. The mother began talking to a friend sitting nearby and she failed to notice her son slip away. As the house lights dimmed and the spotlight lit the piano, the woman gasped as she saw her son at the piano bench, innocently picking out "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star."

Before the woman could retrieve her son, the famous concert pianist appeared on stage and quickly moved to the keyboard. "Don't quit -- keep playing," he whispered to the boy. Leaning over, Paderewski reached down with his left hand and began filling in a bass part. Then with his right arm, he reached around the other side, encircling the child, to add a running obligato. Together, the old master and the young novice mesmerized the crowd.

Source: God's Little Devotional Book, Copyright (c) 1995 by honor Books, Inc., ISBN: 1562920960, http://isbn.nu/1562920960/price

~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:


"I don't know what it is, but hurry up and pack it in ice."

"Hey Charlie, unzip the bag on that one, he's still moving."

"Blink once for 'yes'".

"What do you mean we have the wrong patient ?"

"Why is there a tag on his toe ?"

"Do you think he can hear us ?"

"I didn't even know a human could bend that way."

"I'm sorry, we must not have used enough anesthesia." "Just relax now. We'll be done in a jiffy."

"Hold the patient still, we've almost pried it open."

"Did the doctor know he would look like that afterwards ?"

"Of course I've performed this operation before Nurse !"

"Nurse, make sure you're getting all this down." "It'll make a great 'ER' script."

Submitted by Jim Moore Jr.


After tucking their three-year-old child Sammy in for bed one night, his parents heard sobbing coming from his room. Rushing back in, they found him crying hysterically. He managed to tell them that he had swallowed a penny and he was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking helped.

His father, in an attempt to calm him down, palmed a penny from his pocket and pretended to pull it from Sammy's ear. Sammy was delighted. In a flash, he snatched it from his father's hand, swallowed it, then cheerfully demanded,

"Do it again, Dad!"

Source: The Funnies, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/andychaps_the- funnies

~~~~~~~ TRIVIA:

A group of unicorns is called a blessing.
Twelve or more cows are known as a flink.
A group of frogs is called an army.
A group of rhinos is called a crash.
A group of kangaroos is called a mob.
A group of whales is called a pod.
A group of geese is called a gaggle.
A group of ravens is called a murder.
A group of officers is called a mess.
A group of larks is called an exaltation.
A group of owls is called a parliament.
A group of ferrets is called a busyness.

Submitted by Martha

WITandWISDOM™ Copyright © 1998-2001 by Richard G. Wimer - All Rights Reserved
Any questions, comments or suggestions may be sent to Richard G. Wimer.