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WITandWISDOM(tm) - October 1, 2001

~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS:

The true value of a human being is determined by the measure and the sense in which he has attained liberation from the self - Albert Einstein


Part 2 of 2 [Sep 21, Oct 1]

Because North Americans cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect: We'll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Stevie toilet-trained. We'll entertain-when we replace the living-room carpet. We'll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college.

Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of "I'm going to," "I plan on" and "Someday, when things are settled down a bit."

When anyone calls my 'seize the moment' friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you're ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Roller blades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord.

My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my hips with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy.

Now...go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to ......not something on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say?

Attributed to Erma Bombeck, 1991

Submitted by John L. Hoh, Jr., http://www.geocities.com/brandedhand/

~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:

TIPS FOR MOMS & DADS Part 8 of 18

HINT #141: They'll always bring home their laundry.
HINT #142: Courage.
HINT #143: Grace doesn't count unless it's under pressure.
HINT #144: Many geniuses were late bloomers.
HINT #145: When you retire, feel free to spend their inheritance.
HINT #146: Hold their hands during vaccinations.
HINT #147: Look encouraging at the dentist.
HINT #148: Don't give your son a crew cut.
HINT #149: "Bambi" is too scary for five-year olds.
HINT #150: Fruit Loops are NOT a balanced meal.
HINT #151: Yes, they need all sixty-four Crayolas.
HINT #152: No, they can't have a pony.
HINT #153: Chicken soup couldn't hurt.
HINT #154: Keep the cookie jar full.
HINT #155: Tuck them in.
HINT #156: Add sound effects to the bedtime story.
HINT #157: No, they REALLY can't have a pony.
HINT #158: Gingerbread houses aren't worth the work.
HINT #159: Tollhouse cookies ARE worth the work.
HINT #160: Put plenty of icing on birthday cakes.

[The eighteen parts of "Tips for Moms & Dads" can be found in the following issues of WITandWISDOM(tm): 2001 - #1 Mar 1, #2 Apr 2, #3 May 1, #4 Jun 1, #5 Jul 2, #6 Aug 1, #7 Sep 3, #8 Oct 1, 1998 - #9 Jan 1, #10 Feb 2, #11 Mar 2, #12 Apr 1, #13 May 1, #14 Jun 1, #15 Jul 1, #16 Aug 3, #17 Sep 1, #18 Oct 1]

Source: Humor R Us http://humor.morstad.org/


I don't have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. I think that speaks for itself. The less said about it the better.

Source: The Oregonian, Copyright (c) June 29, 2001, http://www.oregonian.com/

Submitted by Barbara Henry

~~~~~~~ TRIVIA:

If someone says your letter was anopisthographic (an-o-piz-tho-GRAF-ik). Don't be offended. It simply means that it had writing on only one side.

Source: the Endangered English Dictionary by David Grambs, Published by W W Norton & Co, Copyright (c) 1997, ISBN: 0393316068, http://isbn.nu/0393316068

Submitted by Harold Penner

WITandWISDOM™ Copyright © 1998-2001 by Richard G. Wimer - All Rights Reserved
Any questions, comments or suggestions may be sent to Richard G. Wimer.