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WITandWISDOM(tm) - September 9, 2002
At the end of his life a man is not judged by his resume but by an inventory of his heart.
Submitted by Jerolyn Baldwin
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
Faith That Moved a Mountain
By Oliver Akobundu
This is a true life story - a testimony that somebody I choose to call brother Action gave. He shared this testimony during a church service in year 2000 in Port Harcourt, Nigeria.
Brother Action said he woke up one Sunday morning with this conviction in his heart, "before this week ends you will own a car." After few days he said to himself, "'faith without work is dead.' James 1:20."
One fine morning, brother Action put on his best suit and with his suitcase and set off for used car dealers in town. After visiting one or two he decided to stay at one of them. Among all the cars available a particular car appealed to him. He did not have enough money in his bank account or at home to purchase a car even though they were quite used. He said he stood on the promise of God.
He approached the car salesman who took him to the car of his choice. While he was inspecting it, a man arrived and stood attentively watching them. After a while the man spoke to the car salesman and told him that he was interested in that particular car. His friend liked that model so much that he had purchased one on four different occasions. When car salesman heard the man say he was interested in buying the car he became impatient with brother Action. He said to him, "Look mister if you are not interested proceeding with the purchase let this man do so." Brother Action said he replied him, "Don't you realize that I am planning to purchase this car? Do you want me to make a decision without being sure of what I am buying?" The other man was still standing nearby without saying a word to them.
When the other man observed that brother Action was not giving up on the car, he called him aside and said to him, "Look I want this car at all cost. My friend has had four of them and I want it because my friend has one. I promise you that if you will change your mind and go for another car, I will purchase it for you." Brother Action said that at first he refused the man's offer in spite of the fact that he had no money to purchase a car. Finally he allowed the man to purchase this car and he chose a different one.
Brother Action said he could hardly believe that he would own a car. Not until its price was settled and the man issued a check and the purchase was made in the name of brother Action did he believe this was really happening. The key to the car was handed to him. He got into the car, started the ignition and drove off a little. Nobody stopped him. He drove to the expressway and nobody stopped him. True to his impression within the week brother Action became the proud owner of a car.
Submitted by Oliver Akobundu
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
The Monday Afternoon Club, an organization of wealthy city women, met and decided that this month's outing was to be at a dairy farm. Most of them had lived in the city all their lives, and had never seen such a thing.
The day came, and the ladies filed into the rented bus, which whisked them off to their destination. On the way, they watched out the windows as the city squalor turned into lovely, unpolluted countryside.
After they arrived, they were greeted by the farmer who invited them to look him up should they have any questions.
Myrtle, after looking about, and being amazed by what she saw, stepped into a building and viewed something she thought was quite remarkable. She saw the farmer walk by and hailed him - he sauntered in.
"Sir," she inquired, "Why doesn't this cow have any horns?"
The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone: "Well, ma'am, cattle can do a powerful lot of damage with horns. Sometimes we keep' em trimmed down with a hacksaw. Other times we can fix up the young 'uns by puttin' a couple drops of acid where their horns would grow in, and that stops 'em cold. Still, there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns. But the reason this cow don't have no horns, ma'am, is 'cause it's a horse."
Source: Clean Laugh, http://www.cybersalt.org/lists.htm
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
Over the years, my husband and I have usually managed to decode the cute but confusing gender signs sometimes put on restaurants' restroom doors. (Buoys and Gulls, Laddies and Lassies, etc.) but every so often we get stumped.
Recently my husband, Dave wandered off in search of the men's room and found himself confronted by two marked doors. One labeled "Bronco", and the other was designated "Cactus."
Completely baffled he stopped a restaurant employee passing by, "Excuse me: I need to use the restroom" Dave said, Gesturing towards the doors, he asked, "Which one should I use? "Actually, we would prefer you to go down there," the employee said pointing to a door down the hall marked "Men" "Bronco and Cactus are private dining rooms."
Source: A Joke a Day http://www.topica.com/lists/ajokeaday7
Where did Silly Putty come from?
Silly Putty started as a mistake in a New Haven laboratory, and turned into a consumer hit in the 1960s by sheer chance. According to engineers, Silly Putty is a self-contradiction. Chemically, it is a liquid, but it resembles a solid. The molecular structure will stretch if the structure is slowly pulled. But if tugged, it snaps apart. The toy has a rebound capacity of 75 to 80 percent, whereas a rubber ball has only about a 5 percent bounce-back. A silicon derivative, Silly Putty won't rot; it can withstand temperatures from -70 degrees Fahrenheit to hundreds degrees above zero. On top of all that, it picks up newsprint, often sharper than the original.
Source: ArcaMax Trivia, http://www.arcamax.com