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WITandWISDOM(tm) - November 15, 2002
"Trust men and they will be true to you; treat them greatly and they will show themselves great." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Source: Quotes From The Masters, http://MailRoom.DailyInbox.Com/
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
Everything I Ever Needed in Life I Found in My Purse
I carry the basic essentials of life in my purse. Aspirin, lipstick, hand-lotion, credit cards... what more could anyone need? And whatever life hands me I can usually stuff in my purse. I think I have a purse reflex. I can stuff things in there and never even know it. I found a five dollar bill in a sneaky secret pocket last week. Even better, I found a candy bar. Now that was interesting. It was scrunched into about a bajillion bits - almost liquefied - but it was still inside the wrapper.
I have to admit there are some encounters that aren't exactly positive purse experiences. The other day, for example, I was making a return and I had to do an emergency receipt search at the customer service counter. My purse stuff started piling up. I pulled out five loose Lifesavers, an old Valentine, sun screen, one mitten, six kid-meal toys (including a mini-tractor with only one wheel), three keys of unknown lock origin, and a dead cricket. But no receipt. There were 12 tissues (none I would actually use), last year's Christmas list, a ticket stub to the Jr. High spring concert, the backs from four adhesive name tags, and a partridge in a pear tree (kidding about the partridge).
I scraped up a Denny's coupon that expired in 1997 and a plastic Easter egg. The egg rattled, but I was afraid to open it. Then there were 2 gummy-worms stuck in a hairbrush. I hate to admit it, but there was also about enough purse fuzz in there to stuff a sofa pillow. Inside the purse fuzz, something green and squishy caught my eye - and it frightened me. I gained courage by tossing the dead cricket and drinking the candy bar.
Then I got to the heart of my purse. I found my New Testament. It had all my family pictures tucked inside. That's when I realized that everything important in life could be found in my purse. Okay, I didn't exactly find Jesus in my purse, but his Word was there. Granted, it smelled like Juicy Fruit, but it was a great reminder that there's really no place I can go where I won't find the Lord's presence. Not one fuzz-covered place!
There's no place I can go without my Heavenly Father's knowledge. Not the heavens, not the depths, not the far side of the sea. I could climb all the way inside my purse, and he would still find me there. There's nothing that he doesn't know about me. He knows the contents of my purse and the contents of my heart. And he still loves me.
That's reason to celebrate, even though I never found the receipt. Maybe the cricket ate it. For the record, I think the green thing used to be a jelly bean. I guess we'll never know. One of the kids ate it.
Contributed by Rhonda Rhea, mailto:email@example.com
By way of Daily Wisdom, mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org
Source: A Joke a Day http://www.topica.com/lists/ajokeaday7
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
Ever Wonder . . .
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that to stop Windows(R), you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Submitted by Hannelore Dill
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
I saw this on a bumper sticker:
"My kids think I'm an ATM machine."
Submitted by Mary Workman
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