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WITandWISDOM(tm) - March 31, 2003
ISSN 1538-8794

~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS:

Use what talents you possess: The woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best. - Henry Van Dyke


A number of years ago a member of my congregation handed me this story that I have used several times in sermons.

A little girl witnessed her very first baptismal service. The child was fascinated and sat wide-eyed as the pastor immersed each candidate and repeated the words "On the profession of your faith, I now baptize you."

Later in the day this small child was in her playroom when her mother thought she heard the girl talking to herself. The mother crept along, spied through the cracked open door, and was surprised. Her young daughter had filled a bowl with water and had all her dolls lined up ready for baptism. As the girl immersed the dolls in the water she said: "On the expression on your face, I now baptize you."

I wonder if our face reflects our faith!

By Kenneth Clothier, Teignmouth, Devon, Great Britain

Source: Adventist Review, ISSN 0161-1119, (c) August 9, 2001, http://www.adventistreview.org/

Submitted by Nancy Simpson

~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:

Laws of Science . . .

Magellan's Vox Theorem: Voice transmissions in a given language become understandable by non-speakers of that language when amplified beyond normal conversational volume, occasionally resulting in quicker directions to the bathroom.

Couch's law: An object in motion tends to stay in motion, unless there's something good on TV.

Constant of Luminosity: An otherwise intelligent adult, wanting to see if a flashlight works, will point it directly into his face before activating it, upon which he will become annoyed at his stupidity in temporarily blinding himself yet again.

The First Law of Yee Haw: Your 1972 Chevy Nova can beat a train to any intersection.

Doppler's E-mail Effect: Popularity is directly proportional to the quantity of number of chain-letter e-mails one forwards.

Earl's Rule: A bowling ball's direction, y=Nx, contains a variable N which can be manipulated via post-partum contortions of the bowler.

The Theory of Rapitivity: E = MC

Hammer Sprint's Law of Teledynamics: A body at rest will stay at rest; a body in motion should keep calling up the body at rest, offering complicated long distance deals.

Lite's Law: If an item is designated as "low-fat," one should consume as much of it as the stomach can possibly hold.

Source: Arizona Humor, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/arizona_humor/


My two-year-old daughter, Paige, was with her mother while her older sister was being examined by a dentist. Paige kept herself busy playing with toys in the waiting room until she noticed that her morn was resting, her eyes closed.

With about six other patients waiting, Paige marched up to her mother, looked her straight in the face and shook her shoulder.

"Mommy," she yelled, "wake up! This is not church!"

My wife, Lani, woke from her doze to the sound of other patients laughing.

Contributed by Vicente T. Montojo

Source: Reader's Digest, Copyright (c) February 2000, http://www.readersdigest.com/

~~~~~~~ TRIVIA:

It's Not What Kids Know, but Whom They Know

Kids with at least three friends who smoke are 24 times more likely to become smokers.

After interviewing 21,000 teens, researchers concluded that having friends who smoked was the largest risk factor for teens to progress from experimental smoking to regular smoking. Other important factors were alcohol use, parental smoking, and feelings of alienation from school.

Teens who felt well connected with other immediate family members were 9 percent less likely to start smoking. - Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology

Source: Adventist Review, ISSN 0161-1119, (c) January 16, 2003, http://www.adventistreview.org/

Submitted by Nancy Simpson

WITandWISDOM™ ISSN 1538-8794 - Copyright © 1998-2003 by Richard G. Wimer - All Rights Reserved
Any questions, comments or suggestions may be sent to Richard G. Wimer.