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WITandWISDOM(tm) - May 8, 2003
"A wise man may look ridiculous in the company of fools." - Thomas Fuller
Source: The Daily Delight!, mailto:email@example.com?subject=Subscribe
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
Karl, let's go bungee jumping," some kids from my summer day camp urged.
"Forget it. I'd rather chew on chalk."
"Come on. Why not?"
"Because I don't want you to dig me up in order to bury me."
"Come on, Wimpbreath, take a risk. Nobody's ever had more than one accident."
At first, I wouldn't even consider it. But some of the chanciest choices in my life have come while under the influence of campers who show no fear. The next thing I knew, I was on a crane heading 110 feet above a pool of water that looked no bigger than a glob of spittle.
To make matters worse, the attendant booking me up looked as greasy as a truck stop skillet.
I leveled with him right up front, "I don't trust you tying that strap around my ankles."
"Because your shoes are untied."
When we reached the top, he ordered "OK, jump."
"Whoooooaaa there, crazy cowboy," I said, "don't I get a lesson?"
"Well, um, ah, do I jump up or down?"
"It don't matter."
"Should I keep my hands tucked or spread?"
"It don't matter."
"Are you on drugs?"
"It don't matter." He paused, and continued. "I used to be on drugs, but I gave them up."
"Oh really, how long ago?"
"What time is it?" he asked with a smirk. "No really, I used to do drugs but I turned over a new leaf."
"Right," I thought, "then he smoked it."
"Listen, fella," he barked, "If you don't jump. I'm pushing you." (He did have a way of being persuasive.)
In that one moment of insanity, I stepped off the platform. And I've gotta tell you. It was the most exhilarating ride of my life.
When my feet landed safely back on earth, I wanted to hug the kids who had put me up to it and shout, "I looooooooove you man!"
Rarely have I regretted risks I've taken. In fact, my most cherished memories are married to my biggest risks. I've discovered a simple truth: The higher the risk, the greater the reward.
Think about your most valued experiences.
They probably have a connection to a risk: asking out the most chiseled hunk in school; running for Student Association president; playing a recital for a large crowd. The reward always follows the risk.
By Karl Haffner, College Place, WA
Source: Gleaner, April 2003, ISSN 0746-5874, mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org
Submitted by Nancy Simpson
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
A resident of Sacramento County recently heard the news that she would not have to attend jury duty, and you could see how happy she was by how much she wagged her tail.
Lucy Marie Gordon, a chocolate Labrador retriever that lives in Carmichael, was recently summoned by Sacramento County for jury duty. Somehow, county records show a registered voter named Lucille Marie Gordon at Gordon family address.
Lucy's owner, Caryn Gordon, thought it would be easy to resolve by phone; however, a courthouse staff member didn't believe her.
"I asked him what I needed to do to prove that she is a dog. And I said, 'Would a picture be sufficient?' And he said, 'No,'" Gordon said.
Gordon was told to get documentation from Lucy's vet.
"And so we had him, had our vet fax over (the documents), certifying that Lucy was a female canine. Her name was Lucy Marie Gordon. She's 10 years old, and she's been spayed," Gordon said.
County Jury Commissioner Meredith Bostain says this kind of mishap has never happened before.
"It was humorous, but it does raise an issue of accuracy of information coming from the voter registration office," Bostain said.
Source: Yahoo! News, http://story.news.yahoo.com/
Submitted by Kiri Hyatt
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
I am a very nervous flyer. During a trip from California to Indiana, it didn't help that my connecting flight from Denver was delayed twice because of mechanical problems.
Then, after we were aloft, I noticed the lights began flickering. I mentioned this to a flight attendant. "I'll take care of it," she said. Moments later the lights went out. Clearly she'd solved the problem by turning off the lights.
A passenger across the aisle who had been listening leaned over and said, "Whatever you do, please don't ask about the engines."
Source: Good, Clean Funnies, http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor
Behind the Boom - How Building Implosions Work
There is some serious equipment and a lot of calculation involved in felling a multi-story building. Safe implosions combine math, intuition and extreme explosive power. Find out how the experts bring down huge structures without damaging the buildings nearby.
Source: How Stuff Works, http://www.howstuffworks.com