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WITandWISDOM(tm) - June 16, 2003
ISSN 1538-8794

~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS:

"Most of us spend our lives as if we had another one in the bank." - Ben Irwin

Source: The Funnies, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/andychaps_the-funnies


Word for Today, May 3, 2003
By Bob Gass

"How many are your works, O, Lord! In wisdom you made them all." Psalm 104 : 24 (NIV)

One day in Hyde Park, London, author Frank Sheed was speaking about the remarkable order and design of the universe, when a heckler shouted, ‘Even I could make a better universe than your God!' Unruffled, Sheed replied, ‘I won't ask you to do that today, but would you mind making a rabbit just to establish credibility?'

Know what? If the earth was as small as the moon, its gravitation couldn't sustain our needs. On the other hand, if it were as large as Jupiter, its extreme gravitation would make human movement almost impossible. If we were as close to the sun as Venus, the heat would be unbearable; if we were as far away as Mars, every region would experience snow and ice nightly. If the oceans were half their size, we'd get only 25% of our present rainfall. If they were one-eighth larger, annual precipitation would increase 400% turning the earth into a vast, uninhabitable swamp. Water solidifies at 32 degrees Fahrenheit. But if the oceans were subject to that! The amount of thawing in the polar regions wouldn't balance out and we'd all end up encased in ice. To prevent this catastrophe, God put salt in the sea to alter its freezing point. Not a bad day's work!

David said, ‘How many are Your works, O Lord! In wisdom You made them all… I will sing praise to my God as long as I live' (Psalm 104:24-33 NIV). If God's workmanship wouldn't make you want to stop and praise Him, what would?

To subscribe e-mail maiser@christianconnect.org.uk with SUB WFT in message body

Source: Monday Fodder mailto:dgaufaaa@iohk.com?subject=Subscribe_Monday_Fodder

~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:

The Strange Lady

Even though this lady is residing in MY house, she may at some time appear in yours. Be alert!.....

A very weird thing has happened. A strange old lady has moved into my house. I have no idea who she is, where she came from, or how she got in. I certainly did not invite her. All I know is that one day she wasn't there, and the next day she was!

She is a clever old lady and manages to keep out of sight for the most part, but whenever I pass a mirror, I catch a glimpse of her. And, whenever I look in the mirror to check my appearance, there she is hogging the whole thing, completely obliterating my gorgeous face and body.

This is very rude! I have tried screaming at her, but she just screams back. The least she could do is offer to pay part of the rent, but no.

Every once in a while, I find a dollar bill stuck in a coat pocket, or some loose change under a sofa cushion, but it is not nearly enough. I don't want to jump to conclusions, but I think she is stealing money from me. I go to the ATM and withdraw $100, and a few days later, it's all gone! I certainly don't spend money THAT fast, so I can only conclude the old lady is pilfering from me. You'd think she would spend some of that money to buy wrinkle cream.

And money isn't the only thing I think she is stealing. Food seems to disappear at an alarming rate-especially the good stuff like ice cream, cookies, and candy. She must have a real sweet tooth, but she'd better watch it, because she is really packing on the pounds. I suspect she realizes this, and to make herself feel better, she is tampering with my scale to make me think I am putting on weight, too.

For an old lady, she is quite childish She likes to play nasty games, like going into my closets when I'm not home and altering my clothes so they don't fit.

And she messes with my files and papers so I can't find anything. This is particularly annoying since I am extremely neat and organized.

She has found other imaginative ways to annoy me. She gets into my mail, newspapers, and magazines before I do and blurs the print so I can't read it.

And she has done something really sinister to the volume controls on my TV, radio, and telephone. Now, all I hear are mumbles and whispers.

She has done other things-like make my stairs steeper, my vacuum cleaner heavier and all my knobs and faucets harder to turn.

She even made my bed higher so that getting into and out of it is a real challenge. Lately, she has been fooling with my groceries before I put them away, applying glue to the lids, making it almost impossible for me to open the jars.

She has taken the fun out of shopping for clothes. When I try something on, she stands in front of the dressing room mirror and monopolizes it.

She looks totally ridiculous in some of those outfits, plus, she keeps me from seeing how great they look on me.

Recently she came along when I went to get my picture taken for my driver's license, and just as the camera shutter clicked, she jumped in front of me!

I hope she never finds out where YOU live!

Source: The Funnies, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/andychaps_the-funnies


When I was inducted into the Coast Guard, I had to go to the base barbershop for my first military haircut. The barber walked over to me, electric razor in hand, and shaved right down the middle of my head. Smiling broadly, he asked, "Now what would you like me to do?"

Contributed to "Humor In Uniform" by Richard Howe

Source: DailyInBox: Reader's Digest CyberSmiles, http://dailyinbox.com/rd/

~~~~~~~ TRIVIA:

How GPS Receivers Work

A GPS receiver uses signals from satellites to pinpoint its exact location on Earth, any time, anywhere. It's the biggest thing in navigation since the compass! A GPS receiver can tell you where you are, where you've been, where you're going and what time you'll get there. Find out how the Global Positioning System lets you find your way around the globe.


Source: How Stuff Works, http://www.howstuffworks.com

WITandWISDOM™ ISSN 1538-8794 - Copyright © 1998-2003 by Richard G. Wimer - All Rights Reserved
Any questions, comments or suggestions may be sent to Richard G. Wimer.