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WITandWISDOM(tm) - June 28, 2005
It's not how much of your money you are going to give to God, but how much of God's money you are going to keep for yourself."
Source: Pulpit Supply, mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
One man who was ousted from his profession for an indiscretion took work as a hod carrier simply to put bread on the table. He was suddenly plunged into a drastically different world. Instead of going to an office each day, he was hauling loads of concrete block up to the fifth level of a construction site. Gone was the piped-in music in the corridors; now he had to endure blaring transistors. Any girl who walked by was subject to rude remarks and whistles. Profanity shot through the air, especially from the foreman, whose primary tactics were whining and intimidation; "Can't you do anything right? I never worked with such a bunch of lazy ones in all my life." Near the end of the third week, the new employee felt he could take no more. "I'll work till break time this morning," he told himself, "and then that's it. I'm going home." He'd already been the butt of more than one joke when his lack of experience caused him to do something foolish. The stories were retold constantly thereafter. "I just can't handle any more of this." A while later, he decided to finish out the morning and then leave at lunchtime.
Shortly before noon, the foreman came around with paychecks. As he handed the man his envelope, he made his first civil comment to him in three weeks. "Hey, there's a woman working in the front office who knows you. Says she takes care of your kids sometimes." "Who?" He named the woman, who sometimes helped in the nursery of the church where the man and his family worshiped. The foreman then went on with his rounds. When the hod carrier opened his envelope, he found, along with his check, a handwritten note from the payroll clerk: "When one part of the body of Christ suffers, we all suffer with it. Just wanted you to know that I'm praying for you these days."
He stared at the note, astonished at God's timing. He hadn't even known the woman worked for this company. Here at his lowest hour, she had given him the courage to go on, to push another wheelbarrow of mortar up that ramp. Galatians 6:2 Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
Source: Christian Voices, http://www.christianvoices.org
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
You know you are having a bad day when.........
Your twin sister forgets your birthday.
Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
Your income tax refund check bounces.
It costs more to fill up your car with gas than it did to buy it.
You wake up and your braces are stuck together.
Your doctor tells you that you're allergic to chocolate.
The health inspector condemns your office coffee maker.
People think that you're 40 and you're only 25.
The doctor tells you you're in fine health for someone twice your age.
Source: Bill's Punch Line, mailto:email@example.com
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
One winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45
minutes late. "It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two."
The boss eyed him suspiciously. "Oh, yeah? Then how you ever get here?"
"I finally gave up," he said, "and started for home."
Source: Top Greetings
Monkey Works For The Government
A langur monkey has been employed by an Indian government minister - to scare away other monkeys.
The Indian Minister for Human Resources, M A A Fatmi, has taken on the langur, as well as a professional monkey catcher.
He hopes their combined efforts will scare off the monkeys that invade his office, trashing light fittings and ripping up documents.
"They scare away the monkeys and cage the more naughty ones. So things are better now," a spokesman told the Hindustan Times.
Minister Fatmi had to move into the bungalow after the petroleum minister refused to because of the daily simian onslaught.
Four langur monkeys and two professional monkey catchers are also employed in parliamentary and government buildings in New Dehli.
All offices have been given caged doors and the 'langur force' patrols the buildings at night after a series of official documents were torn to shreds and several civil servants bitten.
"We are trying our best. In our drive in March we captured 101 monkeys and sent them to the Delhi government's monkey shelters in Rajokri," Ved Prakash, the municipal supervisor in New Dehli added.
Source: Ananova http://www.ananova.com