WITandWISDOM™ - E-zine

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WITandWISDOM(tm) - July 6, 2005
ISSN 1538-8794

~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS:

Nice guys finish first. If you donít know that, then you donít know where the finish line is. Ė Garry Shandling, comedian


(SceneóSunday A.M. assembly; silent prayer)

Max: God, I want to do great things.

God: You do?

Max: You bet! I want to teach millions! I want to fill the Rose Bowl! I want all of the world to know your saving power! I dream of the day....

God: That's great. Max. In fact, I can use you today after church.

Max: Super! How about some radio and TV work or. . .or. . .or an engagement to speak to Congress?

God: Well, that's not exactly what I had in mind. See that fellow sitting next to you?

Max: Yes.

God: He needs a ride home.

Max (quietly): What?

God: He needs a ride home. And while you're at it, one of the older ladies sitting near you is worried about getting a refrigerator moved. Why don't you drop by this afternoon and....

Max (pleading): But, God, what about the world?

God (smiling): Think about it.

Source: On The Anvil, by Max Lucado, Copyright © 1985, http://isbn.nu/0842347380

~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:

Does This Sound Like Men?

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Wrinkles add character.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

Phone conservations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase .

You can open all of your own jars.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes

One color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter what how your legs look.

You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

Submitted by Orvie Jensen


Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Mexico City. One has a Cross in front of him, the other one the Star of David.

Many people go by and look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the Cross.

A priest comes by, stops and watches. Finally the priest goes over to the beggar with the Star of David. "My poor fellow, don't you understand? This is a Catholic country! People aren't going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you - especially when you're sitting beside a beggar who has a Cross! In fact, they would probably give to him just out of spite."

The beggar turns to the other one with the cross. "Moishe, look who's here to teach the Levine Brothers about Marketing!"

Source: Pulpit Supply, mailto:pulpit-supply-subscribe@strategicnetwork.org

~~~~~~~ TRIVIA:

Mrs. Retallack, aided by Prof. Francis Broman, conducted scientifically controlled experiments with music and plants. She placed several groups of five assorted potted plants in closed portable cabinets in which light, temperature, and air could all be regulated automatically. Each cabinet had a sound speaker secured to one side.

One group was exposed to Denver's rock music station (KIMN) and another to a semi-classical station (KLIR). "The petunias listening' to rock refused to bloom. Those on KLIR developed six beautiful blooms." After two weeks, the KIMN flowers were all leaning away from the speaker and showed erratic growth. They were all dead in a month. The KLIR flowers in two weeks were all leaning toward their speaker.

In another experiment she had beans, squash, corn, morning glories, and coleus "listening" to rock. In three weeks the plants were dying. The squash had almost fallen over. The morning glory, instead of crawling up, had stretched out over four pots away from the music. The corn was bent in the middle, and the beans were dwarfed and tilted away from the speaker. All but the coleus had browning leaves. Roots were also stunted. Plants that "listened" to nothing were all growing normally. Those that "heard" calm sacred music grew two inches higher than those in "silence." More than that, they leaned toward the speaker or source of sound.

Source: Stop, Look and Listen by Eileen E. and Jay H. Lantry, Copyright(c)1976 by Review and Herald Publishing Association, LCCN 75-32229

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