WITandWISDOM™ - E-zine

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WITandWISDOM(tm) - July 12, 2006
ISSN 1538-8794

~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS:

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

Submitted by Orvie Jensen


The Secretary's Prayer

Dear Lord,

I NEED HELP. Help me to be a good secretary, and help me to have the memory of an elephant, or one at least three years long. Help me by some miracle to be able to do six things at once, answer four telephones at the same time while typing a letter that must go out today. And, when that letter doesn't get signed until tomorrow, give me the strength to keep from going over the brink of hysteria. Never let me lose patience, even when the boss has me searching the files for hours for data that is later discovered in his desk.

HELP ME to have the intelligence of a college professor; help me to understand and carry out all instructions without being given clear explanations. Let me know always just where the boss is, even though he left without telling me where he was going. And when the year ends, please let me have the foresight not to destroy records that will be asked for in a few weeks, even though I was told to destroy them all.

HELP ME to keep a level head and my feet on the ground, so that my secretarial performance will be a proper reflection of the pioneer women who made a place for me in the business world, and those who established me in a profession.

Source: Net 153 Weekly, http://www.net153.com/

~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:

Quotes of the Day

History is more or less bunk. - Henry Ford

I am not one of those who in expressing opinions confine themselves to facts. - Mark Twain, Wearing White Clothes speech, 1907

Anyone nit-picking enough to write a letter of correction to an editor doubtless deserves the error that provoked it. - Alvin Toffler

This is like deja vu all over again. - Yogi Berra

The Americans have need of the telephone, but we do not. We have plenty of messenger boys. - Sir William Preece, chief engineer of the British Post Office, 1876

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible. - George Burns

I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking. - Katherine Cebrian

Source: Quotes of the Day, http://www.quotationspage.com/qotd.html


During a January revival an evangelist asked the people in line what they needed. One man's request was for his hearing. The evangelist spit on his finger, put it in the man's ear, prayed for him and asked him, "How's your hearing?"

The man replied, "I don't know. It's not until next Tuesday."

Source: The Lame Humor List, http://absoluterobeo.com

~~~~~~~ TRIVIA:

Two English football fans in Cologne lost their car after mistakenly thinking they had parked it on a road called 'One Way Street'.

The pair wrote down 'Einbahn Strasse' - which means one-way street in German - so they didn't forget where they'd left the hire car.

But when they came to find it again they found that every second street in the inner city was called 'Einbahn Strasse'.

It was only when they found a policeman that they were told the sign was to inform drivers that they were on a one-way street.

They finally managed to find their vehicle hours later with the help of the German police.

Source: Ananova http://www.ananova.com

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