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WITandWISDOM(tm) - August 22, 2006
Put your troubles in a pocket that has holes in it.
Source: The Lame Humor List, http://absoluterobeo.com
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
In the Dallas Seminary Daily Devotional for June 21, Chuck Swindoll writes, "In a cartoon strip some years ago a little guy was taking heat from his sister and friends for a newly found "calling" -- patting birds on the head. The distressed birds would approach, lower their little feathered pates to be patted, sigh deeply, and walk away satisfied. It brought him no end of fulfillment -- in spite of the teasing he took from others. "What's wrong with patting birds on the head?" he wanted to know. "What's wrong with it?" his embarrassed friends replied, "No one else does it!"
"If your niche is encouraging, please don't stop. If it is embracing, demonstrating warmth, compassion, and mercy to feathers that have been ruffled by offense and bruised by adversity, for goodness' sake, keep stroking. Don't quit, whatever you do.
"I think many Christians are dying on the vine for lack of encouragement from other believers. Proverbs 15:23 says, 'A man has joy in an apt answer, And how delightful is a timely word.' Isn't that true? It's a delightful thing to receive a good word just at your time of need. Encourage someone today. If God made you a 'patter,' then keep on patting to the glory of God."
Source: Preaching Now, http://www.preaching.com/newsletter/subscribe.html
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
Morris and HIS wife went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, "Esther, I'd like to ride in that helicopter..."
Esther always replied, "I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars."
One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, "Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance." Esther replied, "Morris, that helicopter is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars." The pilot overheard the couple and, thinking there could well be some fun in this for him, said to them, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up! If you can stay quiet for the whole ride, not say a word, I won't charge you a dime. If you do say a word, the charge is 50 dollars for you both."
Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy moves. Not a word was heard. He did his dare devil tricks over and over, but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, "I did everything I could to make you yell out, but you didn't and I'm impressed!" Morris replied, "Well, I was going to say something when Esther fell out, but 50 dollars is 50 dollars!"
Source: KneEmail, mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
Police called out to investigate reports of a young child left home alone found a talking parrot instead.
Police were called to the house in Koblenz, Germany, by an elderly lady who said she could hear a child next door constantly screaming "Mama, Mama".
The woman felt the child must have been left home alone as nobody was answering the cries.
But when officers broke into the house they found the cries were coming from a 25-year-old talking parrot.
Source: Ananova http://www.ananova.com
There was a notice in my mailbox that required me to go to court as a witness against someone whose name I did not recognize. Calling for more information, I found out that my notice was for reporting a driver who had illegally passed my stopped school bus - ten years ago when I had been driving a bus part time.
The appearance date was the same time as my night class, so I called to see if my court appearance could be rescheduled.
Two days later someone returned my call. "We cannot push the date back," I was told. The reason? "The accused is entitled to a speedy trial."
Source: Clean Hewmor, mailto:email@example.com