WITandWISDOM™ - E-zine

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WITandWISDOM(tm) - September 11, 2006
ISSN 1538-8794

~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS:

Be bold in what you stand for and careful what you fall for. – Ruth Boorstin

Source: Molly's Quotes of the Day,


When Jenny signed up for evangelism training last December, she didn't know she'd get such immediate practical experience. Her unexpected opportunity came when she was trapped in an elevator in the hotel where the conference was being held.

She was confined in the small space with ten other people (including Ashley and Jessica from her youth group and one of their sponsors). Jenny, who was standing next to an airline pilot from South Africa, began to talk with him about her faith in God.

When he had a question, Ashley and Jessica showed him Bible verses. Before the doors of the elevator opened ninety minutes later, the man had prayed to accept Jesus as his Savior.

The young women didn't see him again, but left a Bible and a note for him at the front desk of the hotel. When Jenny got home from the conference, she found an e-mail from the pilot. He wrote that the young women who had chosen to share with him would never know how much he needed to receive Jesus.

Opportunities to share our faith are not always planned out. In fact, most times they are not. They're unexpected, orchestrated by God. The person you sit next to in class. An old friend who sends you an e-mail. A relative you see once a year at a family reunion. Or even a stranger on an airplane, in a store ... or stuck in an elevator.

Source: A Moment to Consider, mailto:MexSchneiders@Compuserve.com?subject=Subscribe_Moments

~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:

Insurance Ensures A Migraine
©Lisa Barker

For the past two months I have been playing phone tag with our auto insurance company. Whenever I call the local office they conveniently (for them, not me) redirect my call to an office three hours away. Then, that office asks me to fax information to an office that is two hours away from them.

A few days later, I call to follow up on the information I sent in and to enquire as to whether or not my policy has been updated.

“Thank you for calling Well Known Insurance Company. Please press ‘one’ to hear this message in English.” I press ‘one.’

“Thank you for calling Well Known Insurance Company. Please push ‘one’ for assistance.” I press ‘one.’

“Thank you for calling Well Known Insurance Company. All of our operators are busy; please stay on the line. A representative will be with you shortly.”

At this point I pull up a chair and settle in for a long wait. Corny background music plays while a woman with a carefully neutral and ‘soothing’ tone explains how important the customer is to Well Known Insurance Company and how they always place the customer first.

By now the little ones have discovered that I am stuck on the phone, so they proceed to get into everything.

“Thank you for calling Well Known Insurance Com--.”


“We’ll be with you shortly.”


“This call may be monitored to assure quality assistance.”

“Leave the cat alone! Put your sister’s eye back in its socket!”

A live woman with a nasal-sounding and unenthusiastic monotone voice
answers: “Hello, this is Jane. How can I direct your call?”

“I need to know whether or not my insurance policy has been updated.”

“Please hold for our next available representative.”

“I want a cookie, Momma.”

“Hello?" More soothing music plays.

“I want a cookie!”


“This call may be monitored to assure quality assistance.”

“Then, listen up! I am sick and tired of playing phone games with you people. I want to speak to a real--.”

Jane again: “Hello. How can I direct your call?”

“I need to know whether or not my insurance policy has been updated.”

“Please hold for our next available representative.”

“What!? What about YOU!? Hello? Hello?”

“This is George. I’m the departmental supervisor. May I please have your last name, zip code and can you spell hippopotamus?”

“H-I-P-P-O…I need to know if my policy has--.”

“How big is the boat?”

“What? It’s a van, a 12-seat--.”

“One moment.”

Just what does insurance REALLY ensure anyway? A headache, I tell you. So I call the doctor’s office to renew my prescription for painkillers.

“Doctor’s office – can you hold, please?”

Lisa Barker is a syndicated humor columnist and mom of five. Her latest book is 'Just Because Your Kids Drive You Insane ... Doesn't Mean You Are A Bad Parent!' http://www.JellyMom.com

Please forward this to friends and family. Keep it intact from top to bottom and tell them where they can get more Jelly Mom: http://www.jellymom.com


In the mood for joking, a vacationer strolled over to a farmer working in a field and asked, "Did you happen to see a wagonload of monkeys go by?"

"Nope," replied the farmer. "Did you fall off?"

Source: Clean Humor Digest, http://www.jokesnstuff.net/digest

~~~~~~~ TRIVIA:

You and I tend to offer hospitality to only a limited number of people -- persons whom we already know, mostly relatives and a few close friends. But, in Abraham’s time, hospitality was extended to whomever needed it -- strangers and acquaintances alike. In fact, in its original form, "hospitality" combines two separate words -- one meaning friend and the other meaning stranger. So, from the beginning of its usage, hospitality has carried with it the idea of making friends out of strangers.

Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it. - Hebrews 13:2

From: James W. Cox, The Minister’s Manual, Harper, 1994, 109, http://tinyurl.com/g3hej

Source: SermonCentral Weekly Newsletter,

WITandWISDOM™ - E-zine