WITandWISDOM™ - E-zine

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WITandWISDOM(tm) - September 26, 2006
ISSN 1538-8794

~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS:

A three-year-old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a $300 set of swings as it does out of finding a small green caterpillar. - Bill Vaughan

Source: Molly's Quotes of the Day,


A woman once came to Dr. George W. Crane for advice.

"Dr. Crane," she began, "I hate my husband, and I want to hurt him. Will you tell me how to do it?"

Dr. Crane replied, "Why, certainly. How do you think you would like to hurt him?"

"I think I want to divorce him," she replied, "because he has fallen in love with somebody else."

"Oh," replied Dr. Crane, "if he has fallen in love with another woman, a divorce from you is probably what he would like. That would not hurt him now. Before you divorce him, you must make him fall in love with you. Then when you divorce him it will hurt him."

"Oh, good!" she exclaimed. "Now, Doctor, tell me how to make him fall in love with me so I can hurt him."

The doctor quietly, and with a twinkle in his eye, replied, "I'll tell you how. Give him three honest compliments a day."

"Oh, I see," she responded. And then—she hesitated. "But what is there about him I could compliment?"

The doctor guided her bewildered thinking, "Does he dress well?"

"Oh, yes, he does," came the quick reply.

"Well," observed Dr. Crane, "you drop the remark in his hearing that he chooses becoming ties, or that he wears his clothes well."

Guiding her again, the doctor queried, "Is he good looking?"

"Oh," she exclaimed, "he's handsome."

"Well," continued the wise doctor, "you tell him so." Looking into her puzzled face, the doctor again inquired, "Does he support the family?"

"Yes," came back the answer again, "he is a good provider."

"Then," continued the doctor, "tell him that, too. And as you give him the three honest compliments, others will come to you. And the man will fall in love with you. Then you can hurt him."

"Oh," she said, "good! Thank you. Doctor."

"Return in about six months," directed the doctor, "and I will explain the next step to take." And with that, the woman was gone.

Several months later she was back again in Dr. Crane's office. Her face was beaming. "Doctor, it works!" she exclaimed. "My husband is madly in love with me."

"Fine!" replied the doctor. "Now divorce him."

"But, Dr. Crane," stammered the delighted wife, "I don't want to divorce him now. I love him too."

Source: Path to the Heart, Glenn A Coon, © 1958 by Review and Herald Publishing Association

~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:

Class Reunions

Every ten years,
as summertime nears,
An announcement arrives in the mail,
A reunion is planned;
it'll be really grand;
Make plans to attend without fail.

I'll never forget the first time we met;
We tried so hard to impress.
We drove fancy cars, smoked big cigars,
And wore our most elegant dress.

It was quite an affair;
the whole class was there.
It was held at a fancy hotel.
We wined, and we dined,
and we acted refined,
And everyone thought it was swell.

The men all conversed
about who had been first
To achieve great fortune and fame.
Meanwhile, their spouses
described their fine houses
And how beautiful their children became.

The homecoming queen,
who once had been lean,
Now weighed in at one-ninety-six.
The jocks who were there
had all lost their hair,
And the cheerleaders could no longer do kicks.

No one had heard about the class nerd
Who'd guided a spacecraft to the moon;
Or poor little Jane, who's always been plain;
She married a shipping tycoon.

The boy we'd decreed "most apt to succeed"
Was serving ten years in the pen,
While the one voted "least" now was a priest;
Just shows you can be wrong now and then.

They awarded a prize to one of the guys
Who seemed to have aged the least.
Another was given to the grad who had driven
The farthest to attend the feast.

They took a class picture, a curious mixture
Of beehives, crew cuts and wide ties.
Tall, short, or skinny, the style was the mini;
You never saw so many thighs.

At our next get-together, no one cared whether
They impressed their classmates or not.
The mood was informal, a whole lot more normal;
By this time we'd all gone to pot.

It was held out-of-doors, at the lake shores;
We ate hamburgers, coleslaw, and beans.
Then most of us lay around in the shade,
In our comfortable T-shirts and jeans.

By the fortieth year,
it was abundantly clear,
We were definitely over the hill.
Those who weren't dead had to crawl out of bed,
And be home in time for their pill.

And now I can't wait as they've set the date;
Our sixtieth is coming, I'm told.
It should be a ball, they've rented a hall
At the Shady Rest Home for the old.

Repairs have been made on my old hearing aid;
My pacemaker's been turned up on high.
My wheelchair is oiled, and my teeth have been
And I've bought a new wig and glass eye.

I'm feeling quite hearty;
I'm ready to party,
I'll dance until dawn's early light.
It'll be lots of fun; and I hope at least one
Other person can make it that night.

Author Unknown

Submitted by Nancy A Thomas


Son to his father as they watch television; "Dad, tell me again how when you were a kid you had to walk all the way across the room to change the channel."

Submitted by Betsy

~~~~~~~ TRIVIA:

In 1999, Catherine Ryan Hyde wrote a novel called Pay It Forward (later turned into a movie). It starts with a teacher's assignment to "Think of an Idea for World Change, and Put It Into Action." Trevor, the 12-year-old hero, comes up with an idea. If he does something "real good" for three people and asks in return that instead of them "paying him back," they "pay it forward" by doing a good deed for three other people, who are in turn asked to pay it forward, the math quickly shows that he could change the world.

© 2006 Josephson Institute of Ethics; reprinted with permission. Michael Josephson, one of the nation's leading ethicists, is the founder of the Josephson Institute of Ethics and the premier youth character education program, CHARACTER COUNTS! For further information visit http://www.charactercounts.org

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