| Prior Date | Archive Index | Next Date |
|
WITandWISDOM(tm) - April 13, 1998 THOUGHTS: Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity. - General George S. Patton, Jr. (Shared by Granny's Funnies http://members.aol.com/grannyx7/DGF.html) SPECIAL THOUGHTS: He left the brilliance of a million suns for the darkness of Mary's womb. The hands that shaped a universe . . . now tiny, transparent. The voice that would one day say, "Come to Me," silent, still. The eyes that would see into the innermost being of every living creature, closed and unseeing. The miracle of God's love . . . the Instrument of His grace, quietly waiting. Hearing not the praises of the hosts of heaven . . . but the steady beat of Mary's heart. - Bob McGlew, Amesbury, Massachusetts, DECISION, December 1997 THIS & THAT: A vet and some of his hunter friends looking for a place to hunt, pulled into a farmer's yard. The vet knew the farmer and went up to the farmhouse to ask permission to hunt. The old farmer said, "Sure you can hunt, but would you do me a favor? The kids horse standing over there is 20 years old. You know she's in bad shape and I can't afford to keep having you come out and look after her this winter. I don't have the heart to shoot her. Would you do it for me?" The vet said, "Sure," and headed for the car. While walking back, however, he decided to pull a prank on his hunting buddies. When he got into the car they asked if it was ok to hunt. "I can't believe that guy," said the vet. "I come out here in the heat of summer and the cold of winter. Rain or shine I look after his livestock, even get up in the middle of the night for him. Then when I ask him for a little favor he tells me No, we can't hunt! I'm goina teach that old cuss a lesson. I'm gonna shoot his horse over there. I'll show him!" With that, he rolled down his window, stuck his gun out and aimed at the horse. His buddies were all begging him not to, but he insisted . . . BANG . . . The horse dropped like a stone, dead in it's tracks. As he exclaimed, "There, that'll teach him!" a second shot rang out from the passenger side. One of his hunting buddies shouted, Hey this is fun I just got a Bull! (Shared by Fred Miller via MONDAY FODDER by Dave in Hong Kong dgaufaaa@iohk.com) ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Kids could always resolve any dispute by calling it. One of them will say, "I got the front seat." "I want the front seat." "I called it." And the other kid has no recourse. "He called it, what can Ido?" If there was a kid court of law it holds up. "Your honor, my client did ask for the front seat." The judge says, "Did he call it?" "Well, no, he didn't call it . . ." He bangs the gavel. "Objection overruled. He has to call it. Case closed." - Jerry Seinfeld (Shared by Granny's Funnies http://members.aol.com/grannyx7/DGF.html) TRIVIA: There are twice as many kangaroos in Australia as there are people. The kangaroo population is estimated at about 40 million. (Shared by Just 4 Laughs! http://www.GeoCities.com/Hollywood/Set/6993) |