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WIT & WISDOM - August 13, 1998 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: If I had influence with the good fairy . . ., I should ask that her gift to each child in the world be a sense of wonder so indestructible that it would last throughout life, as an unfailing antidote against boredom and disenchantments of later years, the sterile preoccupation with things that are artificial, the alienation from our sources of strength. - Rachel Carlson, Bits & Pieces, January 10, 1991, [1] ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: Darla, one of my clients, was telling me how hurt she was by the breakup with her boyfriend; how badly he had treated her, and yet how she really wanted to be with him. When I asked if she had a close friend to share her hurt with, or a family member she could confide in, Darla sighed. "All I get is advice - and some of the advice hurts more than the breakup! Advice like ‘Just dump him' and ‘Don't you dare crawl back to him.'" I touched her as I told her gently how sorry I was that her friends didn't understand her pain or her need to be listened to. Darla hugged me on the way out. What she needed more than advice was to be comforted, and, tragically, comfort is rarely given between adults. Merely to listen and touch someone while we're talking seems too simple, but often that's all anyone really needs. - INTIMATE MOMENTS, Daily Devotions for Couples, By Ferguson & Thurman ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: AMUSING SIGNS Part 1 of 2 Sign in a realtor's office: Lots for little. Sign in a shoe store: Come in and have a fit. Sign at entrance of the IRS: Watch your step. Sign at the exit: Watch your mouth. Sign in a bookstore: We treat you write. Sign over a cannibal's hut: I never met a man I didn't like. Sign in a science teacher's room: If it moves, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics. Sign on a door to a psychiatric ward: Please do not disturb further. Sign in a veterinarian's waiting room: Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!! Sign in school near clock: Time will pass; will you? Sign on music teachers' door: Out Chopin. This month's meeting for the local clairvoyance club has been canceled due to unforeseen circumstances. The meeting has been rescheduled for. . .Well, you know. Sign in beauty shop window: Dye now, gray later. Notice: This week's paranoia society meeting has been postponed in case of fire. Sign for a litter of wiener-dog pups: Get a ‘long' little doggie! Sign in a restaurant window: T-bone steak $1.00. Then, in fine print underneath: With meat $12.00. Sign on the inside of a bathroom stall: Beware of limbo dancers. A hardware store in Oregon has a sign that reads: Today's special. Below it says: So's tomorrow. [2] ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: A little boy went to stay the night with a friend and ate supper with their family. Before they ate, the boy bowed his head and waited for the blessing to be said. But everyone started helping themselves to the food and he looked back up, puzzled. "What's wrong, why aren't you eating?" asked his friend's mom. The boy, who had been taught to give thanks, asked, "Don't you pray at meals?" The father said they didn't. "Oh, I see," said the lad, "You're just like my dog- -you start right in!" [3] ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: 49.6% of US residents live in Eastern time zone, 29.3% live in the Central time zone, 5.3% live in the Mountain time zone, 15.0% live in the Pacific time zone and .8% live in any other time zone. [4] ~~~~~~~ CONTRIBUTORS: [1] (http://www.epinc.com/) [2] (Bill's Punch Line tcmrtalk@airmail.net) [3] (Patty Patterson) [4] (Fast Eddie's Funnies http://recommend-it.com/l.z.e?s=154533) |