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WIT & WISDOM - August 31, 1998 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: Isn't it better to have men being ungrateful than to miss a chance to do good? - Denis Diderot (1713-1784) CARING QUOTES [1] ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: GO TO GOD By Grace E. Easley When a friend is feeling sorrow That you wish that you could share, And no words of any language Can remove the grief they bear, When the unexpected shadows Fall across the path they trod, There is no human remedy, ...We have to go to God. When a brave heart's torn asunder, And its courage seems so small, There is no solace found in pain That over takes us all. When hot tears keep on falling 'Til they drench the very sod, To find someone to dry them, ....We have to go to God. There's a reason for each heartache, Though we cannot see it now, And we grow with every sorrow, That Heaven will allow. Though we always seek the sunlight, Earth is still "a vale of tears" And only God can help us bear The burden of the years. We've simply got to trust Him, And we can't afford to doubt, Because He has created life, He knows what it's about. Because His dear feet also walked These narrow paths we trod, To heal our broken spirits, ....We have to go to God. [2] ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: BEST RESPONSES IF FOUND ASLEEP AT YOUR DESK "Oh, Man! Come in at 6 in the morning and look what happens!" "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!" "This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!" "I thought you (the boss) were gone for the day." "They told me at the blood bank this might happen." "Oh, Hi, I was trying to pick up my contact lens without my hands." "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to." "Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper" "I was just meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!" "I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance" "I'm doing the "Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan" (SLEEP) I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend." "It worked well for Reagan, didn't it?" "This is a highly specific Yoga position to relieve work-related stress." "Just pacing myself for the all-nighter tonight!" "I was working smarter-not harder." "Auggh! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem." "I'm in the management training program." "The coffee machine is broken. . . ." "Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!" "It's okay . . . I'm still billing the client." ". . .and I especially thank you for my excellent boss, Amen!" [3] ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: A little girl sitting in church with her father suddenly felt ill. "Daddy," she whispered, "I have to frow up!" Her father told her to hurry to the restroom. In less than two minutes the child was back. "I didn't have to go too far," she exclaimed. "There's a little box by the back door that says, 'For the sick." [4] ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: In an old English primer the whole edition was printed with the omission of the letter c at the beginning of the last word in the third line, as follows: "When the last trumpet soundeth We shall not all die; But we shall all be hanged In the twinkling of an eye." - Sacramento Daily Union, Aug 31, 1871 [5] ~~~~~~~ CONTRIBUTORS: [1] (collected and edited by the brothers Val and Bill Halamandaris) [2] (Timothy Cabrera) [3] (Laugh-A-Lot! laughalot-owner@graceweb.org) [4] (Patty Patterson) [5] (http://WWW.ThisIsTrue.Com) |