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WIT & WISDOM - September 1, 1998 ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: Do you get along with yourself? Do you know how to make friends and keep them? Do you enjoy your work? Do you see and appreciate the beauty of the world around you? Do you have enough sense of humor to laugh at yourself? Do you know how to pray and to serve God and your fellow men? If you do, you are really living. - Rev. Paul Osumi [2] ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: TIPS FOR MOMS & DADS Part 17 of 18 HINT #321: They DO look cutest when they're sleeping. HINT #322: Tell ghost stories. HINT #323: Kids love antiheroes. HINT #324: Remember how your mother felt about Mick Jagger. HINT #325: Celebrate Velcro! HINT #326: Record their singing. HINT #327: She's all grown up when she stretches your sweater. HINT #328: You know your son's grown up when he blushes. HINT #329: Hang a tire swing. HINT #330: They'll eat paper and dirt and survive. HINT #331: If all else fails, take them to the video arcade. HINT #332: Let them get their ears pierced. HINT #333: Monster truck rallies can be educational. HINT #334: Let them play cowboy. HINT #335: Discourage them from tying up the babysitter. HINT #336: Don't hold up other people's children as role models. HINT #337: When they fall asleep in the stroller, don't move them. HINT #338: Show them photos of yourself as a child. HINT #339: Let's hear it for stereo headphones. HINT #340: Cartoons are a good way to learn classical music. [The eighteen parts of "Tips for Moms & Dads" can be found in the following issues of WITandWISDOM(tm): 2001 - #1 Mar 1, #2 Apr 2, #3 May 1, #4 Jun 1, #5 Jul 2, #6 Aug 1, #7 Sep 3, #8 Oct 1, 1998 - #9 Jan 1, #10 Feb 2, #11 Mar 2, #12 Apr 1, #13 May 1, #14 Jun 1, #15 Jul 1, #16 Aug 3, #17 Sep 1, #18 Oct 1] Source: Dean's Humor List ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!" [4] ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: The fingerprints of koala bears are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene. [5] ~~~~~~~ CONTRIBUTORS: [1] (William E. O'Flaherty's "4 Thoughts of the Week" [2] (Bud Trulson) [4] (The Funnies [5] (Fast Eddie's Funnies |