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WIT & WISDOM - September 14, 1998
A wise man may look ridiculous in the company of fools. - Thomas Fuller 
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
Jean Thompson stood in front of her fifth-grade class on the very first day of school in the fall and told the children a lie. Like most teachers, she looked at her pupils and said that she loved them all the same, that she would treat them all alike. And that was impossible because there in front of her, slumped in his seat on the third row, was a little black boy named Teddy Stoddard.
Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed he didn't play well with the other children, that his clothes were unkempt and that he constantly needed a bath. And Teddy was unpleasant. It got to the point during the first few months that she would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then marking the F at the top of the paper biggest of all. Because Teddy was a sullen little boy, no one else seemed to enjoy him, either.
At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's records and put Teddy's off until last. When she opened his file, she was in for a surprise. His first-grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright, inquisitive child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners...he is a joy to be around." His second-grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student well-liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle."
His third-grade teacher wrote, "Teddy continues to work hard but his mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best but his father doesn't show much interest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken."
Teddy's fourth-grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and sometimes sleeps in class. He is tardy and could become a problem." By now Mrs. Thompson realized the problem but Christmas was coming fast. It was all she could do, with the school play and all, until the day before the holidays began and she was suddenly forced to focus on Teddy Stoddard.
Her children brought her presents, all in beautiful ribbon and bright paper, except for Teddy's, which was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper of a scissored grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of cologne. She stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume behind the other wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed behind just long enough to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my mom used to." After the children left she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, and writing, and speaking. Instead, she began to teach children.
Jean Thompson paid particular attention to one they all called "Teddy." As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. On days there would be an important test, Mrs. Thompson would remember that cologne. By the end of the year he had become one of the smartest children in the class and . . . well, he had also become the "pet" of the teacher who had once vowed to love all of her children exactly the same.
A year later she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that of all the teachers he'd had in elementary school, she was his favorite. Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still his favorite teacher of all time. Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson she was still his favorite teacher. Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still his favorite teacher but that now his name was a little longer. The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, M.D.
The story doesn't end there. You see, there was yet another letter that Spring. Teddy said he'd met this girl and was to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering. . .well, if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit in the pew usually reserved for the mother of the groom. And guess what, she wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. And I bet on that special day, Jean Thompson smelled just like. . . well, just like the way Teddy remembered his mother smelling on their last Christmas together. 
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
NORM DVOSKIN'S WEATHER WIT
- Weatherman, Channel 12, Long Island, N.Y. USA
Blizzard - Snow white and the seven drifts.
Trade Winds - What the U.S. and Canada do.
Toboggan - A polar coaster.
Weatherman's Greeting - Good morning-possibly?
Rain Forecast - The wetter report.
Icy Roads - New skids on the block.
Skiers Policy - Snow fault insurance.
Sunbathe - A fry in the ointment.
Mushroom - The space between dog sleds.
Ozone Depletion - A warning that should scaerosol.
Snowflakes - things that go from lovely to shovely.
Static Electricity - Science friction.
Rain Dance - Elements of chants.
Avalanche - Runaway terrain.
Fog - Mist-demeanor.
Earth's Pull - Grabity.
International Date Line - "Do you come here often?" 
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
About 5 or 6 years ago I was on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day. I could tell during the final that the Captain was really having to fight it, and after an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant came on the PA and announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seatbelts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"
Another flight Attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal." 
KITCHEN: Part 2 of 2 (Not all of these have personally been tested)
Place a table setting correctly. To the right of the plate set the knife (edge faces plate) and spoon; glass stands above the knife. On the left, place the fork with bread and butter plate above it. Lay the napkin on the plate or left of the fork.
Hot soup burn your tongue? You'll feel better if you cover the spot with sugar.
Back yard cooks grill steaks like a pro without peeking inside! Learn the spongy feel of uncooked meat when pressed with a spatula. Then with the spatula, test the cooking meat and feel the degree of doneness. Medium grilled feels firm yet spring. Firm and hard? Too bad, overcooked. 
 (Larry Reed)
 (John D. Sneed via Good, Clean Funnies List http://www.angelfire.com/al/GCFL)
 (Larry Reed)