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WIT & WISDOM - September 15, 1998 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: You cannot now believe that you will ever feel better. But this is not true. You are sure to be happy again. Knowing this, truly believing it, will make you less miserable now. - Abraham Lincoln, in a letter to a friend. [1] ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: 10 Little Christians standing in line 1 disliked the preacher, then there were 9 9 little Christians stayed up very late 1 overslept Sunday, then there were 8 8 little Christians on their way to Heaven 1 took the low road and then there were 7 7 little Christians chirping like chicks 1 disliked music, then there were 6 6 little Christians seemed very much alive but one lost his interest then there was 5 5 little Christians pulling for Heaven's Shore but one stopped to rest , then there were 4 4 little Christians each busy as a bee 1 got his feelings hurt, then there were 3 3 little Christians knew not what to do 1 joined the sporty crowd, then there were 2 2 little Christians, our rhyme is nearly done differed with each other, then there was 1 1 little Christian can't do much 'tis true brought his friend to bible study- - then there were 2 2 earnest Christians, each won one more That doubled the number, then there were 4 4 sincere Christians worked early and late Each won another then there were 8 8 splendid Christians if they doubled as before In just so many Sundays, we'd have 1,024 In this little jingle, there is a lesson true, you belong either to the building or to the wrecking crew! - Author unknown [2] ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: SOME TIME-HONORED TRUTHS?: One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people. The older you get, the better you realize you were. I doubt, therefore I might be. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. Women like silent men, they think they're listening. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it. A fool and his money are soon partying. Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays? If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? (Oracle Service Humor Mailing List ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: German scientists dug 50 meters underground and discovered small pieces of copper. After studying these pieces for a long time, Germany announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nationwide telephone network. Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. They ordered their own scientists to dig even deeper. 100 meters down, they found small pieces of glass, and they soon announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had a nationwide fibre net. Israeli scientists were outraged. They dug 50, 100 and 200 meters underground, but found absolutely nothing . . . They concluded that the ancient Hebrews 55,000 years ago had cellular telephones. [4] ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: Q: Why are the computer's keyboard's letters arranged so awkwardly? A: The answer is that the keyboard was arranged this way on purpose. As you know, before the advent of computers, keyboards were used on typewriters. If a series of keys were pressed too quickly, on the old typewriters, the keys would jam. So engineers got together and "conspired" to make it harder for typists to press the keys too quickly, and thus the keyboard was born. Source: "Imponderables" by David Feldman [5] ~~~~~~~ CONTRIBUTORS: [1] (David Jay) [2] (Heidi Lawson via MONDAY FODDER by Dave in Hong Kong [4] (Tina Gunther via Bill's Punch Line tcmrtalk@airmail.net) [5] (http://www.MailBits.com/Trivia) |