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WIT & WISDOM - October 14, 1998 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: There is time enough for everything in the course of the day if you do but one thing at once; but there is not time enough in the year if you will do two things at a time. - Lord Chesterfield Bits & Pieces, June 27, 1998 [1] ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: A man used to grumble at the food his wife placed before him at meal time. Then he would ask the blessing. One day after his usual combination complaint and prayer his little girl asked, "Daddy, does God hear us when we pray?" "Why, of course," he replied. "He hears us every time we pray." "And does he hear everything we say the rest of the time?" "Yes, every word," he replied, encouraged that he had inspired his daughter to be curious about spiritual matters. Innocently she burst his bubble with her next question. "Then which does God believe?" [2] ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: That whole thing about the moon hitting your eye like a big pizza pie? Turns out that was some sort of metaphor. I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. - Douglas Adams Where are we going? And why are we in this handbasket? I am a deeply superficial person. - Andy Warhol Roses are red Violets are blue if I were a poet, this would rhyme. The purpose of driving is to get there first, or not at all. The sooner you fall behind, the more time you will have to catch up. An Apple a day keeps the doctor away, BUT . . . an onion a day keeps everyone away. It was all so different before everything changed. Spare no expense to make everything as economical as possible. - Samuel Goldwyn I drive entirely too fast to be worried about the food I eat. There has been an alarming increase in the number of things you know nothing about. [3] ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: Jolene had been wanting new kitchen cabinets for a long time, but her husband insisted they were an extravagance. She went to visit her Mother for two weeks, and when she returned, she was overjoyed to find that beautiful new cabinets had been installed. A few days later a neighbor came over to visit and after admiring the new cabinets, the neighbor added, "All of us were so glad that the fire your husband had while you were gone was confined to the kitchen." [4] ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: In August 1993, the Galileo space probe passed near asteroid 243 Ida and discovered that it has a tiny orbiting companion. The one-mile-wide rock (called "Dactyl") is the first known asteroid moon. How did Ida get a moon? Scientists think Dactyl may have been knocked off Ida in an asteroid collision. Since then, it has slowly drifted around the larger chunk of rock, caught in its weak gravitational field. More about Ida and Dactyl, including pictures: http://galileo.ivv.nasa.gov/idamoon.html http://www.scientificamerica n.com/explorations/063097mathilde/asteroidbox.html [5] ~~~~~~~ CONTRIBUTORS: [1] ( [2] (Patty Patterson) [3] (Michael Keith via Keith's Mostly Clean Humor & Weird List [4] (Geoffrey Nickerson via Bill's Punch Line [5] (The Learning Kingdom |