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WIT & WISDOM - October 21, 1998 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: One of the highest compliments I can receive is that I am your friend. [1] ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: Whenever I'm disappointed with my spot in life, I stop and think about little Jamie Scott. Jamie was trying out for a part in a school play. His mother told me that he had his heart set on being in it, though she feared he would not be chosen. On the day the parts were announced, I went with her to collect him after school. Jamie rushed up to her, eyes shining, with pride and excitement. "Guess what, Mum," he shouted, and then said those words that remain a lesson to me: "I've been chosen to clap and cheer." By Marie Curling from A 3rd Serving of Chicken Soup for the Soul, Copyright 1996 by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen [2] ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: UNITED STATES OF AMERICA WAR OFFICE Dept. of the Army Regulations For Operation Of Aircraft Commencing January 1920 1. Don't take the machine into the air unless you are satisfied it will fly. 2. Never leave the ground with the motor leaking. 3. Don't turn sharply when taxiing. Instead of turning sharp, have someone lift the tail around. 4. In taking off, look at the ground and the air. 5. Never get out of the machine with the motor running until the pilot relieving you can reach the motor controls. 6. Pilots should carry hankies in a handy place to wipe off goggles. 7. Riding on the steps, wings, or rail of the machine is prohibited. 8. In case the engine fails on takeoff, land straight ahead regardless of obstacles. 9. No machine must taxi faster than a man can walk. 10. Never run motor so that blast will blow on other machines. 11. Learn to gauge altitude, especially on landing. 12. If you see another machine near you, get out of the way. 13. No two cadets should ever ride together in the same machine. 14. Do not trust altitude instruments. 15. Before you begin a landing glide, see that no machines are under you. 16. Hedge-hopping will not be tolerated. 17. No spins on back or tail sides will be indulged in as they unnecessarily strain the machines. 18. If flying against the wind and you wish to fly with the wind, don't make a sharp turn near the ground. You may crash. 19. Motors have been known to stop during a long glide. If pilot wishes to use motor for landing, he should open the throttle. 20. Don't attempt to force the machine onto the ground with more than flying speed. The result is bounding and ricocheting. 21. Pilots will not wear spurs while flying. 22. Do not use aeronautical gasoline in cars or motorcycles. 23. You must not take off or land closer than 50 feet to the hanger. 24. Never take a machine into the air until you are familiar with it's controls and instruments. 25. If an emergency occurs while flying, land as soon as possible. [3] ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: My boss' son is five years old. He attended his first funeral with his family. I saw him on Sunday and asked him what he thought of it. His answer, "She was already dead when we got there." ~~~~~~~ I read a story about a small child saying, "Night-night" to a body at the funeral home. It reminded me of our small daughter. We took her to view her great-grandmother, and she asked, "Why did they put Great-grandma in a jewelry box?" [4] ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: I received a telephone call today from an individual identifying himself as an AT&T Service technician who was conducting a test on our telephone lines. He stated that to complete the test I should touch nine (9), zero (0), the pound sign (#) and then hang up. I was suspicious and refused. Upon contacting the telephone company, I was informed that by pushing 90#, you give the requesting individual full access to your telephone line, which allows them to place long distance telephone calls billed to your home phone number. - Author Unknown [5] ~~~~~~~ CONTRIBUTORS: [1] ("This and That" [2] (Chicken Soup for the Soul [3] (‘Have A Nice Day' E-mail list [4] (Ken Morland via Fast Eddie's Funnies [5] (Erin O'Connor) |