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WIT & WISDOM - October 22, 1998 ~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS: "Loving you is wanting the best for you even if it doesn't include me." - M. Scott Peck [1] ~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS: How is love going to show itself through you? Consider knocking at love's door and asking, "Who is it that you want me to contact? Who needs me to reach out to them this week?" And someone will occur to you. It may be someone from your past with which you've become estranged, or it may be the person closest to you whom you've taken for granted. Send a card. Write a letter. Make a phone call. Let that person know he or she matters and has made a difference in your life. - Rev. Mary Manin Morrissey [2] ~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT: Here are some sample questions from a multiple choice test for potential sanitation workers: 1. When collecting trash in a residential neighborhood on the midnight to 8 AM shift, you must: a) Test the strength of each metal trash can by banging it against the truck several times before emptying it. b) Frequently toot the air horn so that your employers - the taxpayers - know you're hard at work, while they're lazily trying to sleep. c) As a courtesy to those taxpayers who own motor vehicles, gently bump each parked car, so as to make sure its alarm is set sensitively enough to discourage theft. d) All the above. 2. When collecting trash between the hours of 8 AM and 6 PM, when city traffic is busiest, you must: a) Stop your truck in such a way that it blocks the entire street, so that no innocent scattering rats are hit by passing cars. b) Work quickly and efficiently, unless a vehicle is stuck behind you, in which case slow down as much as possible, as said blocked driver might need time to relax, as he or she is probably working too hard. c) Under no circumstances make eye contact with or otherwise acknowledge the existence of a blocked driver, as that would pierce the veil of anonymity that all cherish and don't want violated by a mere civil servant. d) All the above [3] ~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING: "Bloom where you're Planted" is the theme of an Organization called Christian Horizons, for mentally challenged people. Jim Reese, the founder of that organization wrote a song called "Bloom where you're planted." At a special conference of the organization the song was introduced, and the name tags were in the shape of a little flower. Imagine the consternation that one of the participants caused when he went directly from the conference to a funeral and forgot to take off his name tag saying "Bloom where you're planted."! - Evelyn Hall [4] ~~~~~~~ TRIVIA: The South Pole is a very cold place. The lowest temperature ever recorded there was -117 F (-83 C) and the warmest was +3 F (-16 C). The South Pole is also very dry, receiving only 8 to 10 inches (20-25cm) of snow each year. The South Pole has a rather high elevation -- about 9,300 feet (2,800 meters). The geographic South Pole is marked with a red and white striped pole. It is relocated each summer because the ice over the pole moves about 30 feet (10 m) each year. The magnetic South Pole (where compasses point) is located about 1,600 miles (2,700 km) from the geographic South Pole. It is not even on the continent of Antarctica but out in the southern ocean. The magnetic South Pole is moving at a rate of about 3.3 miles (5.5 km) per year. Virtual tour of the South Pole: http://astro.uchicago.edu/cara/vtour/pole/index.html [5] ~~~~~~~ CONTRIBUTORS: [1] (Encounter Weekly [2] (The Funnies [3] (Keith's Mostly Clean Humor & Weird List [4] (Evelyn Hall) [5] (The Learning Kingdom |